lezbemoms

Raising a Blended Family

In the middle of 5-week Land.

So here we are in the middle of five-week-land.

Everything is going smoothly, and we have our appointment in just over a week (we’ll be 7 weeks by then- crazy!).  I’m a little apprehensive, because although this appointment is ostensibly to hear the heartbeat and get my exam and all that, a coworker who’s 6 weeks ahead of me told me that when she went in for her heartbeat appointment a few weeks back (at the downstairs clinic), they couldn’t find it because the equipment they’re using is really old and not sensitive enough. She’s 11 weeks pregnant!  It’s pretty standard, is it not, to be able to find the heartbeat by then? UGH.  They had to use the transvag wand instead to find the baby that way…. so negative, might not get to hear the baby, positive, might get to SEE the baby??? Hmmmm…

In symptom-land, I would like to welcome my new friends Heartburn, Gas (sorry, family, coworkers, and general public), and a teensy weensy bit of Nausea to center stage.  It’s like, all of a sudden this week things have kicked it up a notch and my body is determined to make me FEEL this pregnancy.  Every five minutes I’ll find myself wondering- heartburn… why do I have heartburn? Oh yeah, I’m pregnant.  Is that nausea I’m feeling?  Why would I be feeling sick?  …oh yeah, I’m pregnant.  Oh man, I’ve got GAS- oh yeah, I’m pregnant.  And so on and so forth.  I’m not complaining (yet) because frankly, these symptoms are a little bit reassuring- a physical manifestation of a pregnancy that so far has only been proven in pee sticks.  That being said, Nausea, please do NOT take that as an invitation to kick it up another level.  I am doing just fine with where we are and would like to stay here, pleaseandthankyou.

Finally, I know Shorty already talked about it, but it makes me so happy I have to talk about it some more.  Did you all SEE the baby swing thingy we got?!?!

Isn't it ADORABLE?! I know it looks pink in the picture, but it's actually cream colored ( a lot of friends were asking if we knew if our baby was a girl already because we bought a pink swing).

I know it’s way early to be buying baby stuff, but we happened to stumble across that one at a terrif price and couldn’t turn it down.  I first saw that swing and BRU a year ago when we went just to browse, and have wanted it ever since!  So early or not, I’m over-the-moon excited about having it in our house.  More physical proof that we’re supposed to actually come home with a baby at the end of all of this!

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMAZON!!!

So today is a good day……

and here is why….

1.) It’s Amazon’s Birthday!!!!!! Happy Birthday to my wonderful, amazing, beautiful, smart, loving wife!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!

Amazon's wake-up birthday surprises

2.) Pedicures, for Amazon.

3.) Lunch date at BW3 – YUM!!

4.) Ice-cream at Coldstone’s – YUM YUM!!!

5.) Dinner date at Naked Chopstix – YUM YUM YUM!!!!

6.) Our first baby purchase!!!!!! SO CUTE.

it's it cute???

Amazon and I both fell in love with this about a year ago when we were browsing through babies r us, and the other night browsing craigs.list we found it for 110 dollars cheaper than sold in the store. SCORE!!

So as you can see this is a good day, Amazon’s birthday, food, baby stuff!!!

Well I’m off here to enjoy my good day with my wife. Enjoy your weekend!

Shorty

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First Appointment, Check!

So this morning at ass early o’clock was our first appointment.  It was mainly a papers-and-bloodwork appointment (as predicted), but several good things did come out of the appointment:

For starters, I am officially pregnant… as in, medically-recognized, doctor-officiated, I-have-the-little-slip-of-paper-that-proves-it-PREGNANT!  Also, the dietician and doctor gave me the go-ahead to eat cooked sushi for my Birthday Gluttony this weekend (so thanks, to those of you who advised me not to completely give up hope).

I will, however, NOT be going back to that OB office (yes, this is a good thing, read on).  Long story short, since I work at a hospital, getting my OB care at said hospital makes everything 100% free.  Yay.  So when I called to make my appointment, I naturally called our third floor OB clinic, made my appointment, and showed up promptly on time… where I waited. and waited. and waited, for an HOUR to be seen.  And this is the second time this has happened to me at this same place.  So, strike one.  Strike two, it’s really run down up there (county hospital) and not well kept up or anything.  I guess that makes me kind of a snob that I noticed those kinds of things but I have a feeling once I’m 15 pounds heavier and waddling, my poor pregnant ass is not going to appreciate the so-called comforts of the hard plastic bus-stop style chairs in the waiting room or the dirty looking beds and floors.  Or clinic rooms, for that matter.  So, snooty or not, that’s my Strike Two.  Once I actually did get called back, everyone was very chit-chatty but also puzzled.  Since I was wearing my scrubs and work ID it was clear I was an employee of the hospital, and I kept getting puzzled looks from staff and a nurse even asked why I was “upstairs”.  Cue confusion.  Someone finally pulled me aside (literally, pulled me aside into an empty room) and told me that although patients with medicaid and medicare (or no insurance whatsoever) are usually seen upstairs for their visits, the hospital has a general care center for those with private insurance downstairs where they also see select OB patients (read:employees) that is nicer, award-winning, and generally was played up to be the Mecca of OB care. Hint hint, nudge nudge.  And, I was told confidentially, that whenever they see employees upstairs, they always perform interventions similar to the one I was going through and make sure that employee ends up in “the right place”.   And then the nurse grabbed a piece of paper, wrote down the number, Dr’s name, and staff nurse’s name, and practically forced it into my hand. Yeah.  It’s pretty bad when the staff of an OB clinic are telling you you don’t want to be there and practically pushing you out the door.  Strike three.  They gave me the name and number of the Dr’s and clinic downstairs and left me alone in the room to “make some phone calls”… and call I did.  The result of the phone call was that we have an appointment in exactly two weeks to hear the heartbeat!!!* This was far sooner than the dirty-ole-stinky-clinic would have been able to get me in (Feb. 8 versus March 13, anyone?) and is with an attending dr instead of a resident up in the clinic (not really something that’s a huge deal to me, but it’s still a perk so I’ll take it). So YAY, I am so excited.

Finally, the pièce de résistance (and one really wonderful thing that came out of my visit to the clinic) is that we were offered the chance to participate in a research study all throughout my pregnancy.  Although at first I was very weary (I immediately pictured needle biopsies and invasive procedures), once it was explained to me I was very much in favor.  Basically, the study is to try to find and identify risk factors for complications during pregnancy.  To do this, it is a nationwide study involving over 10,000 first-time pregnant moms, all of whom they’re observing over the course of their pregnancies for outcomes, events along the way, and basically anything of note.  What it would entail for us is that in between our normal OB visits, we would also visit the Fancy Clinic at the other hospital across town, have my vag swabbed for CM, answer a questionnare, and get an ultrasound every visit.  We would get to see the baby three extra times throughout the pregnancy! Also, on top of that amazingness, they offer a free 3D ultrasound (!!!!!) at the third visit… and also, a free Grac.o carseat at the end of the third visit and some giftcards/cash compensation throughout.  Even ignoring the carseat and the money incentive, knowing that the procedures wouldn’t at all hurt the baby and that it would enable us to sneak a peak three extra times was enough to get me on board.  However, since Shorty wasn’t at today’s appointment with me, I told them I had to talk with her first since it involved her baby too… they were very understanding, gave me their card, and said to call them.  I, of course, called Shorty immediately after the appointment to talk about it and once she knew it wasn’t anything invasive and that it involved extra baby eye-candy, she was totally on board. SO excited!!!!!  In my view, anytime extra that we get to see the baby is a plus in my book. =)

So that was the appointment today folks!  Countdown officially on to the next appointment… yet another TWW!  🙂

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4w4days… for real this time.

We’re back to where we already were at 4w4d… but for real this time.  I am SO GLAD this week is finally here:  I have my first Dr.’s appointment on Wednesday.  Aside from having a bazillion questions to ask them, I’m excited to have a medical professional actually confirm this pregnancy.  Hopefully it will feel more real to me once they do.  Shorty was laughing at me last night because she caught me in the bathroom, sitting anxiously and staring at the digital test I’d just taken, waiting for it to pop up with the word “pregnant” on it.  Of course it did, and I let out a sigh of relief I hadn’t known I’d been holding in until that moment.  I just needed the reassurance, you know???  Yes, I know I’m going slightly crazy right now.  It’s okay.  At this appointment, I’m also excited to get a script for prenatals.  I know I could buy them OTC, but around here we have a program where a lot of the local grocery stores will give out brand name prenatals free as long as you have a prescription.  YAY for saving $30 a bottle!

This coming weekend also marks my birthday, an event which I would normally be ridiculously excited about (birthdays were always a Big Deal in my family) but which, this year, has definitely been eclipsed by my excitement for being pregnant… and by the fact that sushi, which is my usual go-to birthday fare, is now off the menu and I might be pouting about it a little.  😉  But not really.  I’d rather have to pick something else and be pregnant than eat sushi and not be pregnant!

Shorty has been particularly adorable (shhh don’t tell her I said that) when it comes to this whole pregnancy thing.  She plays it off like “been there, done that” but then I catch her online looking at cribs or cloth diapers or bassinets and looking up hospitals and birthing centers in our area.  It’s cute, and it makes me happy that she’s just as excited about Baby as I am.  🙂

Finally, have you guys seen this incredible birth photo yet?  It was submitted for Nation.al Geo.graphic’s photo contest for photo of the year.  I am in awe of the woman in the picture…. apparently she was screaming “I Love You, Baby!” as her child was born.  Incredible.  I also love this photo.  The full set of photos can be viewed here.

 

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Moving slightly backwards…

According to fertility friend, my due date is Sept. 27.  This, coupled with getting tickers* that allow me to calculate from date of conception/ovulation instead of LMP, means we’ve actually moved backwards by four days now that we have an accurate count.  We’ve been downgraded from 4w6d to 4w2d.  Sigh.

In other news… the nerves have set in.  You know how I said I saw going to focus on the positives and stay away from the negatives?  Well, we’re still trying to do that…  but the nervousness keeps creeping in. Every time I have a twitch or a cramp that seems particularly strong (side note: cramps are normal, right?!) or if I wake up and my boobs don’t hurt quite as much, or if I scrape the ice off the car or do some other type of physical activity, I’ll end up worrying there’s something wrong and hoping against hope that all is well in there and the littlekins sticks it out.   I know it’s out of my control and what happens will happens… but I hope the kid sticks it out in there! And yes, I know that I basically like every other pregnant woman since the dawn of time, worrying over her baby.  Ah, well.

On the positive side though, I allowed myself to take a stroll through the baby aisle today at the stores while I was out shopping (solo).  If that seems soon to you, remember that Shorty and I were taking strolls through Babies-R-Us loooong before we had even conceived!  So I walked among all the pacifiers and the receiving blankets and baby soaps and cute baby clothes, and I tried to imagine what I would and would not want to get for our child if we do in fact have a baby in 9 months.  Pink frilly-themed or blue sports-themed floor mat? Out.  Fun, colorful animals floormat? In.  I tried to imagine actually *using* those pacifiers and blankets and diaper bags in nine months, and I actually got a little teary eyed when I realized that if all goes well, we really will need them.  Because we really will have a baby.  Sniff sniff, tear tear.  Must’ve been the pregnancy hormones kicking in. =)  For the record, I would like to point out that I have superhuman control or something… I did not buy a single baby item.  I cooed over the onesies and everything else cute and even took a picture of a little lio.n kin.g onesie I found and sent it to Shorty (Lion King=myfavoritedisneymovieEVER)… but I didn’t buy anything baby-related.  Go me!

And finally, in terms of symptoms- all I can say is NO ONE is allowed anywhere near the boobs, for like, ever.  Shorty accidentally smooshed one last night and it hurt so bad I cried.  They’re not any bigger or anything (Sadly, actually looking forward to that part!) but man oh MAN are they tender!!!!!  Yowza.

Anyways, I think that’ll do it for today.  Off to be a stereotypical pregnant woman and indulge in a mid-afternoon nap!  🙂

 

*Anyone have any advice on how to get those little countdown tickers to work?  I tried to put it in a text widget on the side, but it cut it off. =(  Can’t figure out how to do it right so anyone’s advice is welcome!

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4 weeks, 4 days…

According my calculations, of course. Our EDD is September 27 (although to be honest, this subject is quite confusing for me- do I calculate from the date of ovulation/conception? Or from date of LMP?).

At this point in time, I am still having trouble believing I am pregnant. I think that’s pretty understandable though, considering the newness of all of this. This disconnect comes in spite of some deep, down-to-the-core fatigue that I have been feeling pretty much since 8DPO, in spite of some food aversions that are already making themselves known (pizza, for instance, is already on my shitlist), and in spite of the random cramps/twinges that I feel going on down there at random points throughout the day. It also comes in spite of a nerve-wracking yet ultimately happy conversation with my mother yesterday. My mother and I (though we fight like cats and dogs sometimes; see Christmas posts for examples!) are also very close, and as soon as we found out I knew she had to know right away. So we told her, and after some initial trepidation about what she might say (she had *no idea* we were trying!), she burst out in surprised happiness for us and wanted to know if she could tell the world. She’s a little bit excited about this. =)

The one part she wasn’t excited about was the fact that this baby is due in September… and she lives 2,500 miles away from us. She’s a teacher, and so she has June-August off… she wanted to know why we didn’t plan it for the baby to be born in August! All I could do was laugh at that one- sorry Ma, we tried, didn’t work. She was even a bit tearful on the phone, wondering how she would get to the birth on time, etc etc. I did my best to soothe her, but the reality is that there’s no guarantee. Yes, she can hop on a plane as soon as I tell her I’m having contractions, but that *still* doesn’t guarantee that the plane won’t be delayed or that she will make it on time. I guess we have the next nine months to face that truth and hope for the best.

Finally, I know we all react to big, life-altering news in different ways. I, for instance, obsess over whatever the news is. In this case, I have been haunting pregnancy forums, reading pregnancy books, really just trying to find out as much as I can as fast as I can. Shorty, however, has a different take on it. Perhaps it’s because she’s a little more practical than I am, but she dove straight for the cloth-diapering websites… she wants to start putting together our stockpile ASAP. “A few diapers a month,” as she called it. “That way when the baby comes we won’t have to drop $400 on them and we’ll be set.” I smile and nod and look at her CD research with interest, all the while thinking that I am so lucky to have a wife who’s this excited, this involved… that she’s looking up baby diapers 9 months early. =) Don’t be surprised if you see a resurgence of my old CD post here in the next few weeks, as we try to narrow down the selections and get opinions again!

Thank you all for your enthusiastic congratulations and well-wishes. It truly means the world, and I am once again reminded of how lucky I am to have stumbled upon this community when I first started this blog!!!

PS- one thing I didn’t mention in this post, on purpose, was the possibility of a MC. I am well aware that we are ridiculously early in the game and that anything and everything could go wrong at this point… but I am choosing to acknowledge that possibility, put it aside, and live in the positives as if nothing will go wrong and the baby will be here in September as planned. So just FYI- we know what could happen and we’re choosing to ignore it. However, any prayers or crossed fingers or positive energy you would like to offer up for a sticky baby would still be much appreciated!!!

Edit: pregnancy test pics added by popular demand! Thought you guys would be tired of them by now. ;). These are actually from last night right before bed, as I totally forgot to take pics of this morning’s.

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Wow…. just, wow.

So, I think I’m in shock.  I don’t know why- I went through all of yesterday pretty much just fine, thinking “okay, we’re probably P but let’s wait and see.”  I was fine with it.  This morning, however, I got up and POAS again… and got this clear, unmistakably there, pink second line… and it all hit me.  Cue shock.

holy CRAP!

 

For comparison, here is today’s test vs. yesterday’s test:

Darker, no?

 

I cannot believe it.  We are pregnant. There is a baby growing inside me!  We are PREGNANT!

 

Wow.  Just wow.

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Do you see what we see? AKA, HPT limbo!

Well, you guys… I don’t know what to say.

I woke up at 6 this morning to thunder and lightning, and I could NOT get back to sleep.  So temped and then left Shorty in bed to go downstairs and POAS.  Much to my surprise, within about a minute or two I got the very faintest of faint, PINK second line.  Now, I see so-called “second lines” all the time but never this clear and they’re never pink.  I promptly put the test down and RACED back up the stairs to wake up a very-confused Shorty and get her to squint at the test with me.  On the way down the stairs as she was leaning on me (she was a little disoriented lol, I got her up kind of fast!) she commented that my heart was racing… well, YEAH!  It’s not everyday that an HPT turns up possibly-probably-hopefully positive!  So she finally gets downstairs and picks up the test and looks and looks… and I’m standing there shaking and praying she sees it… and finally she goes, oh yeah, I see it.  Right there! Shorty saw this one!  I was like do you think it’s pink?  And she said yes.  And I asked if she thought I was imagining it and she said no, it’s there, it’s just very faint.  The fact that Shorty saw the line, that it wasn’t just me… cue me bursting into tears.  We are both on pins and needles… it is so faint but it is THERE.  I cannot wait to pee on another stick and hopefully it comes up darker than this one! Right now, I am so afraid of using the “P” word- it doesn’t feel real yet, doesn’t feel like our lives just completely changed yet.  But if I’m being completely honest… I think it is and I think they did.  Cue more tears (of joy!).

Sorry for the huge picture, I was trying to give you guys the best shot of seeing what we see!  If you can’t see it, it’s okay… hopefully we’ll have a darker one to post tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can you see it?

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11 DPO, still waiting…

Well, I took an HPT this morning and it was neg-o-tivo. Bummer but I know we’re not out until AF arrives!  I’d like to think that over the past few days I’ve made peace with this cycle- que sera, sera style.  If AF shows… onwards and upwards and we will be attending our RE appointment on the 2nd (and I will be having sushi for my birthday on the 28th! :)).  If not- well, obviously, YAY!  Haha.

That being said, had a bit of a scare yesterday and day before as temps dipped dramatically and I thought I was out.  However, this morning temp has risen back to pre-dip levels, which makes me think hope that we’re still in this. I guess we keep on waiting!

 

11 DPO chart

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Chart at 7 DPO.

…no idea what it means, but glad my temps are still high at least. I manually adjusted FF to show that I ovulated on the 5th, as I think I did, rather than on the 4th as FF said… this pissed it off and gave me blue crosshairs instead of red, and also caused a few now-resolved glitches in my chart.  Passive aggressive much, FF?

 

Still feeling vague cramping, have sore boobs, and am sleepy (though the sleepy I blame on the grey, cold, snowy weather outside… winter has finally arrived and as far as I’m concerned it can go back to wherever it was hiding and stay there!).   I’ve been hungrier too, though I don’t think that’s a pregnancy-specific sign, as I am generally hungrier the week before AF.  So in conclusion- still waiting to see!

In other news, we also got our new washer in today!!!  It’s all installed and everything, and I am much relieved since there was a very real concern that it might not fit through the basement doors into the laundry room (which used to be an old coal room, that’s how old our house is).  But it did, and I am now making slow-but-steady progress on all the laundry we’ve got that’s built up since the old one mostly broke.  I have discovered that this washing machine SINGS at you when you push buttons, when it’s midway through the cycle, and when it’s done. Who knew?  YAY for a shiney new singing washing machine! And yay for clean clothes (washed more than two-towel loads at a time).

 

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