lezbemoms

Raising a Blended Family

How I pranked Shorty

This is a short but sweet post. I decided to play a short joke on Shorty, whose nickname is…well, Shorty for goodness sake.

She is at work but she will kill me when she gets home shortly, so I have to gloat while I can.

The backstory of this joke is, I am always teasing her for being short. She’s not actually THAT short but she is shorter than me by a few inches, soooooo it counts. She, in return, is always teasing me for being tall. It definitely goes both ways, but when I saw this opportunity to tease her more today I couldn’t pass it up!

Step 1: see desired image shared by a friend on social media:



Step two: log into wife’s Facebook page while she is at work and has no access to Facebook

Step three: make said image wife’s new profile picture.

That’s all. Sit back and watch the magic happen. Think of some good hiding places for when your wife gets home. Shortly.

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Sleep Epiphany

I am in a state of shock and awe right now- the kind of state that happens when something about your child, something that’s been puzzling you for a long time, something you couldn’t quite put your finger on- suddenly CLICKS, and all of a sudden makes perfect sense. I just had a huge, gigantic, enormous epiphany, and it is all due to Lindsay over at Solo Mama. She and I have long gone back and forth about our respective childrens’ lack of reverence for the Church of Sleep; we have both, at different times, lamented frequent night awakenings, early morning wake-ups, and the lack of availability of an IV coffee drip for sleep-deprived parents, STAT (okay, maybe that one was just me).

So when she recently posted about her daughter’s lack of sleep, again, and I found myself nodding along with every sentence, again, and leaving a comment of support (because what else can we do but hold each other up and offer coffee in our sleep-deprived states?), I wasn’t really thinking anything beyond “yep, agreed, wish my kid would sleep too.” And then, in a follow-up, I mentioned wishing he would stop throwing middle-of-the-night temper tantrums as well. And that is when it hit me.

To begin, I don’t think I’ve talked much about this joyful nightly ritual on here (or if I have, I’m too tired to remember it). Pax not only SUCKS at sleeping through the night, he does so with a certain flair that’s all his own. More nights a week than not, he will wake up at one, or two, or three in the morning if you please, throwing a tantrum- a flat out fit- for NO reason. None. He will scream and cry and thrash like you just beheaded his favorite stuffed animal, but he gets pissed if you try to console him, and pissed if you don’t… it’s insanity. And it’s literally out of nowhere, in the middle of the night, when you’re still half asleep and trying to figure out why your arm won’t move until you realize it’s not your arm, it’s your wife’s, thrown across you… yeah. It’s, um, an experience.

Anyways. I hate to say it but we kind of just figured our kid was being an a-hole who hates sleep. When it happens, he doesn’t want juice or a sippy (and don’t you dare give him a sippy cup during one of these events- he will launch it at your head). As far as we can tell, he isn’t having bad dreams. These aren’t night terrors (very different). He just seems to feel like screaming in the middle of the night, and nothing we can do helps, ever.

So, back to my comment on Lindsay’s post… when I mentioned I wish he would stop throwing temper tantrums at midnight. After that comment, and mostly to make myself feel better (because misery loves company and I wanted proof that other kids do this, too), I googled “toddler temper tantrum middle of night.” And do you know- do you know– what I found?

PARASOMNIAS, that’s what. Specifically, I found the term “confusional arousal,” defined by one website as

episodes [that] begin with crying and thrashing around in bed. The child will appear awake and may look confused or upset. The child often resists attempts to being consoled, and is difficult to wake up. These episodes may last up to half an hour. They usually end with the child calming and returning to a deep sleep. Sometimes, the child may wake briefly, but only wanting to return to sleep.

Holy crap, batman! It’s like someone took Pax and copy-pasted his nocturnal activities on a map for the world to see! Not only are we not alone in having a nighttime terrorist, there’s a legitimate medical condition that our tiny terrorist has that explains WHY he’s a terrorist. Amazing!

Sadly, there seems to be nothing to do but wait out the condition and hope he outgrows it soon, but in the meantime, it is extremely comforting to know there’s an explanation behind his tantrums. We aren’t alone and he’s not just being an a-hole after all (sorry, kid.). Sleep deprivation continues but with the knowledge, now, that there’s a reason behind it. Somehow, that makes it easier to bear.

Thanks Lindsay for the inspiration to google!

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Diary of a snow day

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16 weeks!

Holy crap, man. Where is time going? In between the toddler tantrums and sickness spells, my wife has been quietly, slowly, steadily moving forward in pregnancy. We’re now at the 16 week mark and baby is the size of an avocado. Incredible!

Wife has different pregnancy symptoms on different days. Emotional roller coasters, exhaustion (still?! Where’s the second trimester energy boost?!), and cravings are all making themselves known, while nausea and vomiting seem to have died down… Mostly.

She’s also feeling a lot of aches and pains that we generally attribute to round ligament pain and stuff stretching out in there, though it’s nervous-making for sure.

She isn’t quite in maternity clothes yet, though she is now wearing the biggest sized pants she owns and they are barely fitting. I’m like dude, maternity clothes are so COMFY and she’s like IDON’TWANNA… So I’m like, okay, back away from the crazy pregnant lady (and maybe offer some chocolate as a token of peace. Quickly.).

A quick anecdote about our OB- he’s a funny guy! Last appointment Shorty had a sinus infection (back to the “in sickness and in health” post), and we were asking what to take for it. He was going over different options and then he said “but don’t bother trying to buy sudafed, the meth dealers have probably beat you to it.” A little off color, but I thought that was hilarious! And when we asked about pregnant women’s heart rates (Shorty has been wearing my fitbit, which shows you heart rate, and it’s been consistently in the 90’s) he said “STOP. No more of this fit-thing. You drive yourself crazy!” Again, it made us chuckle (it helps if you read those to yourself in a heavy Indian accent for a more authentic recreation of what happened.).

So. No fitbit, stay away from sudafed, and she is looking the picture of pregnant health. We move forward!

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In sickness and in health… but mostly, lately, in sickness.

First off, before I get into this new post, I wanted to take a moment to thank each and every one of you who took a moment to comment on my last post. No, the shouting, the NO!s, and the throwing of food hasn’t magically gone away in a week (tonight it was throwing fried rice at the Hibachi grill restaurant when we dared go out to eat); however, knowing you all are right there with me, dealing with your own tiny terrorists and scraping food off the ground- well, it gives me a sense of community and solidarity, and those of you who commented that you’ve been there and survived it give me a sense of hope that surely I can as well. So, thank you for that.Another glass of wine all around, solidarity sisters, ya-ya, and all that good stuff. We soldier on.

The current issue at hand (beyond general toddler behavior) is illness. I don’t know about your family, but cold and flu season has been particularly rough on my little household this year. At one point, three out of the four of us were on antibiotics simultaneously. There was strep (the kids and my wife). There was (and is) a bad cold with a bad cough that makes the cougher sound like they’re dying and makes everyone else not want to be within 100 feet of them… daycares and schools included (kids and my wife). There was also a milder, just-stuffy-no-cough version (me, thank everything). There has been throw up (my absolute worst mom fail. I just can’t even deal.). There was an untreated, 3 week sinus infection (wife… after I told her to go to the doctor’s a million times). There was lice (Thing One. And also, please kill me.). There was ear pain possibly related to antibiotic resistant bacteria (still waiting this one out, please please don’t let it be antibiotic resistant). And there was rotavirus and explosive diarrhea in a toddler who was supposed to be immune, but wasn’t (Pax).

What. the. crap.

All of this has been within the past month. I alone have magically remained major-illness free (totally just jinxed myself) but it has been crazy around here. I truly cannot remember a worse cold and flu season for our family. The realization of how ridiculous this sick season has become hit me one night last week as I was standing around playing pharmacist and dosing out evening medicines- and I was dosing out thirteen or fourteen different medicines to my THREE sick family members! It was completely insane. I handed my daughter one cup of 10 mL of one thing, and then immediately refilled it with 10mL of something else, and then there was a pill, and ear drops… and it went on like that, for each family member. At this point in time, I’m pretty sure we should just buy stock in Walg.reens. It’d be cheaper than all the cold medicine we’ve gone through at the very least.

Anyways. I am in pretty good spirits in spite of all of this (but then, it is easy to be in good spirits when you are not the one sick. Shorty definitely has a different outlook on life right now). I just wish, for my family’s sake and sanity, that the illnesses would cut the crap and give us a break for a second. You know?

Spring and summer cannot come soon enough. Bring on the warm, sunny days! I’m ready. I’m ready for it all.

How is cold and flu season treating you?

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Terrible Twos

Less on the cheery pregnant side of things, and more on the shit-just-got-real side, I would like to paint you an accurate picture of my house lately:

There is always food on the floor.

Pax is probably somewhere screaming-again.

Everything is answered with “no,” and usually that no is more like a NOOOOO with a VERY LOUD SHOUTY VOICE.

And my dear, sweet, jolly, agreeable two-year-old toddler is nowhere to be found. Nowhere. We’ve looked.

You guys- We’ve officially entered the terrible twos. And I want out.

IMMEDIATELY. Like, yesterday.

IDoNotLikeThisRideLetMeOffRIGHTNOW!

We’ve are just so beaten down. Exhausted. Stressed. Daily life has seriously gotten so much harder and for once, none of it is financial or school/work-related. It’s all from toddler-parenting. I will admit it: it is not very fun here lately to be the parent of this boy of ours. I love this kid to death, I do. But holy mother of patience-testing, batman.

If you ask him to do something, he will generally run away or yell no.

He is grumpy almost all the time! He cries at the drop of a hat. He throws tantrums at the drop of a hat. He throws objects, in anger, at the drop of a hat! This volatile mood crap is one of the things that is hardest to deal with. Cranky, grumpy, unagreeable toddler parenting day-in and day-out is just exhausting. Mentally, emotionally, physically exhausting. And, I miss my boy. I miss him being happy and silly and playful all the time. Nowadays, we get glimpses but that’s about it. He will be happy one minute and upset about something small for the next thirty minutes. The sad/upset moods are way out of balance with the happy moods.

To add to our misery, we are having diaper difficulty. This will hopefully be resolved next weekend when we potty train his butt (whole ‘nuther post coming) but in the meantime: he takes off diapers. And then he pees on the floor/bed/whatever. So far attempts to stop this behavior have failed and Lord help us if said diaper was filled with not just pee. ‘Nuff said. You guys- this sucks.

We are just seriously so tired, there have been days when we look at each other and ask “and WHY are we doing this again?” Of course we don’t really mean it, but remembering our delayed-gratification reasons such as getting a new child to treasure, beautiful sibling relationships and all that good stuff, tend to pale in comparison to imagining that we will have to go through THIS alllllll over again. I just can’t even think about it.

Anyways. I would ask for prayers but I think what we actually need is wine. And lots of it. (For me, anyways). My poor wife went to bed crying tonight because Pax had been a terror all evening and then peed his bed right when he finally settled down… She needs sleep and relaxation. We could all (even Pax) use a hug.

I promise we usually manage better than this but today was a doozy on top of a streak of doozies we’ve been having. It’s not all Pax- we’ve been dealing with a lot of illness lately (both kids have strep, the week before that Pax had nonstop explosive diarrhea, Shorty has had a cold), Thing One came home with lice last week, and I have major exams this week in school that have been taking up my time with studying and taking me away from the family. On top of all of this we are ALSO dealing with Pax’s behavior changes, so it’s just a lot! Moms need a break.

This is pretty accurate here lately:

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Pray that our dear sweet toddler comes back soon. And send wine. Lots of wine.

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POP

Pop goes the baby belly!

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For the record, Shorty was artist-in-chief this week. Not me! LOL

At 14 weeks there’s definitely a little baby bumpie there. Along with continued movements, easier baby-finding with the Doppler, and higher energy levels, the baby bump has now heralded our way into the second trimester.

It feels like a party of nonstop joy since we found out it is a girl. I would have been happy if it were a boy… But I am sooooo overjoyed it is a girl. And, I went shopping. 🙂

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Can I tell you that it felt so WEIRD to be shopping in teeny tiny girls clothing instead of boys’ clothing? Ruffles, and dresses, and leggings galore! I’m so used to monkeys, brown stripes, and disney cars characters everywhere.To be completely honest, boy’s clothes are boring! Ha. I know later on, when Link decides to express her own unique personality, she may decide she does, in fact, like boyish clothes, or only want to wear jeans and t-shirts like her older sister… but for now- oh, I am in femme heaven. Femme-having-a-baby-girl heaven!

Our next appointment is next week and after that, our next appointment will be our ultrasound. Exciting times are on the horizon!

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