lezbemoms

Raising a Blended Family

CD1

People, we have a period!!! Or, rather, Shorty does.  Today is officially CD1- we saw a b-e-a-UTIFUL temp drop this morning, and sure enough AF was right behind! Sweeeeeeet!!!
We are now in our two week pre-TWW.  And I could. not. be. more. excited.

🙂 🙂 🙂

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April Pink

Here’s all my April Pink pictures.  I tried and tried and tried and have NO idea how to make that cute little collage a bunch of you guys have.  So, here they are in non-collage format instead!  🙂

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YAY- and a question…

Wow! It seems that there’s a TON of people makin’ whoopee out there!!! Ever since I’ve started blogging, it’s seemed that there was this big lull in the TTC world- everyone either already had a baby or was waiting to make a baby.  And now I know of at least 5 of us who are giving this cycle a go: Baby MamasIsaLaura and Stacy, and H’s 1 and 2… plus us! Crazy!!! (Am I missing anyone?)  For all our sakes, I am sending out sticky-baby-vibes, baby mojo, and all that good stuff. Let’s get pregnant, people!

Along those lines, you know you’re trying to conceive when your wife tells you she’s cramping and PMSing, and your first response is a loud resounding YAY!!!!

….followed quickly by oh, um, I mean, I’m sorry you’re uncomfortable, honey, as your wife glares at you from across the room.  But just between you and I (and in a very quiet whisper so the Shortcake doesn’t hear), yay!!!  All of this means that CD1 is just around the corner, as is The Ordering of the Sperm. And all of that will be followed quickly by insemination!!! YAY indeed. 🙂

Anyways, so I told my friend that we were in for this cycle… she was surprised, as she had thought we were waiting for fall. Nope!  And then later that night I got a text message with this picture:

And she informed me that this is the yarn she has picked out to make our baby’s blanket.  Awww!!! People are making our baby cuddly blankets and it’s not even conceived yet… this makes me feel very happy indeed. 🙂 Warm fuzzies all around.

And finally, a techincal, how-to question for all you TTC DIY’ers out there: for at-home ICI, how long did you wait after getting a positive OPK and doing your inseminations? We’re ordering two vials, and I’ve heard anywhere from do it IMMEDIATELY to wait 18 hours for the first one, and 30 hours for the second one. Anyone have any advice to offer??? It would be much appreciated!

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On friends and life stages

So I know this is my second post today, but I don’t think the first one really counts. 🙂 I was totally going to post a sneak peek of another wedding project I’ve been doing, but my phone (with the picture of said project) died. So here we are instead, talking about something that’s been bothering me for awhile.

Let’s play a game.  It’s called, Spot What’s Wrong In This Conversation.  The rules are, I tell you about a conversation I had with a (formerly?) very close friend of mine on the way home from work a few weeks ago, and you tell me what’s missing from the conversation:

Me:  So, you know, how’s life going?

Friend: (Lots of chatter about med school and anecdotal stories and such)

Me: Oh that’s cool…

Friend: So what’s up in your life?

Me: Well you know… (insert chatter about lab and my program and my Ph.D. coursework)

Friend: Oh that’s cool…

(Insert awkward silence)

(Conversation comes to awkward close).

So who can spot it? What’s missing from that conversation?  I’ll give you a hint, it starts with an S…

Substance. Anything meaningful.  Whatsoever.  I ask her about her life, she gives me lots of stories and surface level talk about med school. She asks me about my life, I tell her about my lab work, even going into the nitty gritty of exactly what experiments I did and how I did them (she’s a science geek too).  This girl used to be (as in, as recently as last year) one of my closest friends in the whole world, and yet somehow, for the past 6 months or so, we’ve gotten to a place where I can’t tell her anything about my life (outside of school). Nothing. And maybe she feels the same, because I certainly don’t know too much about her life either.  We used to talk several times a week, every week, for an hour at least each time.  Now? Once every three weeks, max.

And I know you’re saying things change, people change, drift happens, friendships cycle… I get that. I’m fine with that.  I am the queen of letting the drift happen, and then reconnecting years later. So if that’s all it was, I wouldn’t be writing this post.

However.  My friend has this reputation.  She is very… driven. Very driven.  I admire it and if I was halfway as motivated as she is I think I would be done with seven different Ph.D.’s by now.  One of her flaws, however, is that she has an inability   tends to judge doesn’t understand how anything could come before, or alongside of, a career, in terms of the what’s-most-important-in-life scale.  ANYTHING.  So she’s watched as I fell in love with Shortcake (and T1).  Watched as we decided to get married.  Not coming to the wedding because of school (this was the excuse I was given, not looking into it too far), and not being a bridesmaid (although I did ask).  Yelled at me several times and told me I’m off track. Asked me several times if I really am sure I love Shortcake (hello, insulting much?).

And we’ve fought and patched things up and fought and patched things up and fought and patched things up several times now.  I stopped calling her as often because I didn’t like being guilt tripped or lectured for the way I was choosing to live my life… especially from someone who is supposed to support me.  Me not calling her led to many more fights and accusations from her that I was dropping the ball in our friendship, I didn’t care about her, etc.  She’s also been mad that I haven’t come to see her as often as I did before Shortcake and I really got serious… she lives 6 hours away, and will occasionally invite me up for the weekend.  Inevitably though, I have T1 to watch that weekend or we just don’t have it in the budget for the $200 in gas it costs to make it up there… and this always leads to more fights. I’ve even found myself apologizing to her, for what I’m not sure.

Anyways, the list goes on and on, but what it all adds up to is that this friendship is headed down the drain fast.  I feel like anytime I mention Shortcake or T1 she gets judgemental- hence the reason our conversations, when we have them, usually revolve around school. work.  Phd.  Concepts she can understand, and of which she approves.

I hate that it’s like this, but I have to wonder if this is just an inevitable part of life? As I move out of one life stage (college) and into another (family + kids + job track) and she stays in the previous stage, is it inevitable that we become more distant? Does this happen with all friendships- those friendships you hold closer also tend to be those who are on the same “life stage” as you?  I have 2 other close friends that I speak with on a regular basis- one who is at the same stage I am, met the guy of her dreams (who also happens to have a kid), settling down, making plans for the future, etc.  The other friend has not been in a relationship in years (not that this matters) but she is also very job-oriented: done with school, moving up in the ranks, stable, happy.  I have no problem connecting to these two, and I have to wonder if it’s because I’m in similar life stages as they are, whereas the friend I am having trouble with is still a “college kid” (an imprecise term for what I’m trying to convey, but hopefully you understand).

Hmmmm… anyone have any thoughts? Anyone run into similar friend situations? I’d love to see if this extends to other situations, or if it’s just me.

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Entertaining

***I saw this on some message boards and it had me chuckling by the end of it. Thought you ladies would appreciate it.***

HOW TO KNOW WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE READY TO HAVE A BABY

MESS TEST Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flower bed and rub on the walls.

Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos. (If Legos are not available, you may
substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles.) Have a friend spread them
all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or
kitchen. Do not scream (this could wake a child at night).

GROCERY STORE TEST

Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with
you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and
pay for anything they eat or damage.

DRESSING TEST

Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag
making sure that all arms stay inside.

FEEDING TEST

Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from
the ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert
spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the
mouth of the jug while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the
contents of the jug on the floor.

NIGHT TEST

Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8 to 12 pounds
of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8:00 PM begin to waltz and
hum with the bag until 9:00 PM. Lay down your bag and set your alarm
for 10:00 PM.Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have
ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00
AM.  Set alarm for 5:00 AM. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up
for 5 years. Look cheerful.

PHYSICAL TEST

Obtain a large bean-bag chair and attach it to the front of your
clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10% of the beans.

Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.

FINAL ASSIGNMENT

Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they
can improve their child’s discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet
training, and table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve.
Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run
wild.

Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the
answers.

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Side note…

My poor love has a migraine.  A bad one.

She’s been getting them a lot lately, and the doc prescribed some icky medication stuff that basically makes her high, but doesn’t always stop the migraine.  And I’m feeling bad and worried for her because I had to leave her home by herself, when she can barely move (and the medicine doesn’t help that), and also because there’s nothing I can do and it sucks seeing the ones you love in pain.

Boo. 😦

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Impatient

I’m glad I have this blog challenge to do… now that we’re actually going to get to participate in a cycle and actually TTC, the time between when the fun happens and now is

C.R.A.W.L.I.N.G.

Sigh.  CD1 should be this Friday, so we’ll be ordering the swimmers and then we’ll be in the pre-TWW, waiting for the smiley face of all smiley faces!!!  So close, yet so far…

So to pass the time, I figured I would catch up on the blog challenge that I am (once again) behind on.

Day 22-Favorite city

This one’s easy… it’s the city I grew up in, San Diego.  Nice beaches, nice mountains, nice climate, access to snow in the winter without being stuck in it, zero tornados, yummy mexican food, awesome parks and open spaces… yep. San Diego, my heart.

Day 23-Favorite vacation

Again, this is easy…. but I haven’t been on a ton of amazing vacations.  Therefore, my favorite vacation was easily when Shortcake-formerly-known-as-C and I (you like how I slipped that in there?) went to Jamaica last year to a couples-only all inclusive resort (Couples San Souci, if anyone is wondering).  We went for a friends’ wedding and it was AMAZING (the vacation, not the wedding… although the wedding was amazing too!).  Jamaica is notoriously unfriendly to gay people, but we never had any problems…  and the scenery is BEAUTIFUL.  All of the previous pics I’ve posted with us standing in waterfalls or on sandy, beautiful beaches…. those are from Jamaica.  I loved it.
Day 24-Something you’ve learned

Well, for one thing… I’ve learned that I *do* want to have kids!  Never knew that before, say, a year and a half ago.  I’ve also learned that I never, ever want to be one of those people who works so hard at their career that they don’t have time for a family.  Family, to me, is more important.  I have friends who have made similar decisions, and friends who have made the opposite decision and placed career as their #1 prioity… I don’t I try not to judge either way (being honest, here) but I can’t imagine making some of the choices other career-oriented friends of mine have made.  I’ve had this discussion before, with friends on both sides of this decision, and it’s actually led to some heated discussions and hurt feelings (hence the trying not to judge thing)… but in the end, the only person I can speak for is me, and I know that family triumphs, with me.  Always.
Day 25-Favorite memory

Yowsa, this one is hard.  How do you pick one favorite out of a lifetime of memories?  I guess, to narrow it down, I can say that all that sticks out for me are the memories since I met Shortcake.  Everything before that isn’t as sharply defined, and doesn’t seem as important.  I know her favorite will probably be something related to T1’s birth, but since I wasn’t around for that… I guess my favorite memory would be lying on the beach in Jamaica at night, listening to the waves crash, watching the stars, and just being in the moment with each other.  That was a really nice night between the two of us- really special bonding time.

Phew. Look at me, I’m all caught up!  I look forward to reading all of your blog challenges for the day, and I hope you all had a happy Easter/spring equinox/sunday!

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News… of the Big variety

So I know things have been a bit boring around here lately, and I apologize for that… truth is, it just seems like there hasn’t been much to talk about.  Everything in our house has been focused on Wedding, and I’ve been doing my damndest to avoid turning this into a wedding blog, so nothing’s really gotten posted.

Hold on to your hats though folks, because everything’s about to change.

As of C’s next cycle, starting on CD1… we are in. We get to play.  We’re getting our feet wet.

We’re actually starting TTC!!!

Sperm will be ordered as soon as CD1 arrives (one week left).  We know which donors, we’ve been registered at the sperm bank for awhile… and we’re in.

I. am. so. freakin. EXCITED!!!!!! No more WTTTC (waiting to TTC!).  At least not for this cycle.  If this one doesn’t work, we may not be able to afford to get another one in before the wedding… but we figured at least getting to one try before the wedding is better than no tries before the wedding.  And hopefully, hopefully, hopefully this cycle will work!!!!!  I’m not completely naive, I’ve read the hardships you all have gone through and seen how long it can take… but I can’t help but be hopeful. This is our very first TTC cycle. Let it work, let it work, let it work.

For those of you who might be wondering, C’s charts this month actually turned out beautifully, worries aside… she had a very clear temp spike CD15 and it has stayed high ever since.  Next month we are going to be religiously using those OPK’s along with charting (no missing days like this month!).  Next month, when we get a smiley face and a temp dip, we get to actually try.  Next month there will be a TWW- and maybe even a baby.  There’s at least going to be the possibility of a baby, which is different than any other month thus far.

It’s finally our turn.  We finally get to play, too.  Baby, here we come.

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Playing Catch-Up

So, it would seem I am the latest victim to fall behind the blogging challenge.  My bad.  I have no good excuses, other than I’ve just been really tired lately.  I’ve still been interested in reading all of your blogs, but have had 0 interest in writing in my own.  Hopefully that will change here soon… I have a few things on the back burner to discuss but for now, I’ll just focus on catching up!

Day 18-Something you regret

I try not to have too many regrets… one of my favorite sayings is that everything you did meant something to you at the time you did it, even if looking back now, you can’t quite remember what it was.
Day 19-Something you miss

The mountains. The ocean. Outdoor, rugged terrain. All of the above.  The midwest just doesn’t have many pine trees, or ocean breezes.  Growing up with ample access to both of those things… I really miss it.
Day 20-Nicknames

I don’t have too many nicknames… one is Ace (play on my first name), but I really hate it and only one person ever calls me that ( a longtime friend).  I also get called “Amazon” by C, which is a reference to me being taller than her, and generally appears in retaliation to me calling her “Shortcake” (cause she IS!!!).  Hmmm maybe these should be our blogging names, lol!
Day 21-Picture of yourself

Those are both me (sorry for the cruddy self portrait lol!).  The first one is even me with long hair, though you can’t really tell.

Ha! Finally caught up.

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??? for those of you who use GReader

Has anyone with google reader ever suddenly had like, half their blogs stop showing up? Because I’ve recently discovered that mine has!  I thought people just weren’t posting, but oh yes, they’re posting… my reader is just being uncooperative!!!

Anyone had this problem? How’d you fix it?  Thanks!!!

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