Raising a Blended Family

Situation Briefing

Ya’ll, we have Situation going on in Casa Lezbemoms. There is a full-scale, outright War going on. And this war is nothing quiet, or simple. We don’t have the Cold War going on over here, everyone glowering at everyone daring everyone to make a move. We have active war going on. We have World War Three, and it’s happening in my bedroom.

The Players:

The war started out small, but has grown to a size where virtually the whole household is involved (not Thing One. Thing One is Switzerland. And oblivious). My son is the general of the Aggressing Side. Mommy is on the Defending Side, with her close Ally Mama, and Mommy’s boobs and access to them are the incendiary Assets over which the epic fights break out. Sleep and Mommy’s Sanity are prisoners of war. The puppy is the General’s ally.

The Warzone:

When battle breaks out [time: 0200 hours], it goes like this: In the middle of the night, under cover of darkness, the General’s troops advance. Before the Defending Side knows what is happening, the General’s forces swoop in and take possession of the Assets. He uses and abuses them (in some violation of some sort of International Code for Mother’s Boobs’ Rights, I’m sure). He twists and turns, nurses, coos, giggles, performs acrobatics, and makes general unacceptable use of the Assets… all at two in the morning. The General is relentless and the Assets are used and tormented for hours on end [time: 0300 hours. time elapsed: an hour.]

All too soon, the Defending Side realizes its peril. Perhaps it is the pain of a twisted nipple, or the general wear-and-tear of hours upon hours of constant nursing that alerts her. Whichever the case, once she becomes aware, the Defending Side acts in swift motion to reclaim the Assets. Coming up with a battle plan, she aggressively acts to take back what is hers and protect the Assets. Usually, she is able to quickly reclaim them, though occasionally she makes a call to her Ally, Mama. [time: 0315 hours].

The General’s war cry rings out across the room. Howling, he tells the world of his defeat. His howls alert his furry Ally of his peril, who, once awakened, joins in on the chorus [time: 0330 hours. time elapsed: one and one-half hours of battle. in the middle of the night.]. The Defenders act quickly to silence the furry Ally (usually a mini walk outside and a pee break will do the trick- the General should reconsider his choice of Allies or bribe them more highly than we do), though the General is not as easily silenced.  Some nights, his war cry reverberates throughout the house for HOURS. Other nights, he feels his defeat acutely and his war cry changes to a cry of defeat as sullenly, he rolls over to fall asleep. Don’t be fooled. The Defending Side must remain alert for the prospect of re-attack, and never think that the General isn’t using his sleeping time to plot his next attack. If not tonight, the next night.


Though the Defenders have several times attempted to negotiate the cessation of hostilities, the General’s side remains strong and stalewort. Negotiations in general have gotten nowhere. The Battle rages on. The Prisoners of War, Sleep and Mommy’s sanity, are losing any hope of a rescue. [time:0600 hours. the whole. damn. night.].

The situation looks Bleak.

I will write more from the front lines as the War allows. Pray for me.

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So it’s been a crazy month or so at Casa Lezbemoms. Sorry to get behind in blogging but it is what it is. I think bullet-updates are in order.


  • I started nursing school. Yes, I did. FINALLY.  This last week was my first week actually, and whewwww has it been busy. 1 exam, 6 quizzes, and over 13 chapters later… I officially am feeling the “accelerated” part of “accelerated BSN program”.  I’m not complaining because it’s what I signed up for, and I am so. freaking. excited. about. it., but it has meant a definite restructuring of any and all outside-school time and having to make the most of limited hours with my family.  Definitely a balancing act!
  • Pax had surgery for ear tubes. Tuesday, actually. Today he spiked a 103 degree fever (I picked him up from daycare and the first thing I noticed was he felt really hot. They never said anything… did they not know? did they not cuddle or hold or touch him all day long?!). Anyways, his fever initially freaked me out because his little “after-surgery” pamphlet says, in big bold letters, “CALL FOR ANY FEVER OVER 100.5”. So, when the thermometer hit 101, I started panicking. When it kept climbing, I picked up the phone and called, even as I watched the numbers on the thermometer continue to rise. I got a call back from the doctor on call, who sounded grumpy to have been bothered but nevertheless, after going through symptoms, seemed pretty certain that this WASN’T surgery related and that Pax was just normal kid sick… which is good. I can handle normal kid sick. Although I will say, this incident reinforces our need for a backup babysitter, whic we currently do not have. I had a test today and Shorty worked, and had the daycare actually done their jobs and realized he was sick and called for pick up, I’m not sure what we would have done. This is a new area, we don’t have any friends here, and no one to really be a back up person who isn’t an hour and a half away. We need to do something about this- we need to find some community. A story and project for another post I suppose.
  • The dog has started training classes. And you guys, I have a confession to make. Or maybe more of a question. How does one go about enjoying dog ownership? She’s a sweet dog. She’s a beautiful dog. She loves us (I know) and wants approval (I think). But it is hard to enjoy her, partly because of her habit of taking running flying leaps with her so.sharp. always.sharp can.never.trim.them.enough.claws STRAIGHT onto you whenever you sit down, and partly because of her habit of niping/biting, and also because of her knocking down Pax and generally getting into things. She’s a puppy, I get it, and I expected certain things when we got her. I expected chewing (which she does but nowhere near as much as I expected) and potty training issues (we’ve had those too although she’s getting better, starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel) and general puppy energy (LOTS of that).  Those things I know and accept and can deal with. But in all other ways, this dog has been a pain in my ass. She’s had health issues, for one. Won’t even go there except to say we’ve spent at least a thousand dollars on her, most of that in one month. Was not expecting that! And then she has her other above-named behaviors, which are just a sample of her and which the are so stressful that no one (besides her) is really enjoying her presence.  I want to enjoy her. I have moments- moments when she calms down, comes and puts her head in my lap and I rub it, or moments when we’re playing fetch or doing other typical dog-owner things I pictured in my head when we got her. I love walking her, actually. It’s fun. So it’s not all bad but she does make things more challenging and I’m not sure how to help it, other than take her to training and hope she starts to behave herself.  And also, knowing that puppyhood doesn’t last forever. Hopefully a lot of this stuff she will outgrow. (side note: it is sad to me that my longest bullet so far has been about the dog!)
  • The trip to California was AMAZING. Pax got to see all three of his great-grandmas, we camped in Big Sur [it rained, still fun], we hung out with an old friend and her new.new baby, we played on the beach, I went snorkeling with my brother, there was lots of family time… it was AMAZING. It was soooooo weird being there without my wife and daughter but it was amazing nonetheless and I’m so grateful to my wife for sending me. I came back refreshed and ready to start nursing school.
  • We are thinking about flying Thing One out to California this summer to spend some time with grandma. It makes me nervous because she would be flying alone using one of the unaccompanied minor programs airlines offer. She’s flown plenty and is a great flyer but still. Would you fly your (9 year old by that time) cross country by themselves? God, it sounds awful typing it.
  • We are still not all the way unpacked in the new house. Whatever.
  • Pax quietly turned 19 months when we weren’t looking. How the hell is this kid less than 5 months away now from being 2?!?!?! We are seeing it though, big time. Temper tantrums have emerged. Mostly they’re still the cute kind, the kind where we hide a smile as we watch him throw himself on the ground because we told him he couldn’t play with a steak knife [true story]. I’m sure they will get worse. He talks now, not a lot but some. about 25-30 words. I have no idea if that’s a lot or a little for his age but it seems like he learns a new one every day. Right now, everything is a doggie. Actual dogs are doggies, but so are cats and trucks and cars and stuffed animals… He also just learned “water,” which he says “wahwah”, when he comes to beg you for a drink of your water bottle (and then backwashes into it and ruins it for you). He also said it while pointing to a lake the other day, I was impressed! I didn’t know he knew that “water in a bottle” and “water in the lake” were both wahwah. He says ball and points to any ball he sees, cracker and flaps excitedly when he wants one, night night and once (just once) he told Shorty “love you”. I was a jealous mommy but it was soooo sweet! We couldn’t get him to repeat it though. Shorty and I both swear he said “I don’t wanna go nigh night” one time. We have it on video- it happened while I was in California. I’ll try to post it for you to see for yourselves.He also climbs up and down and runs with reckless abandon and thinks he’s twenty feet tall and invincible. It’s amazing this kid hasn’t broken anything yet. Knock on wood, please. He had a recent check up and he is 34″ tall, putting him in the 87%… but still only weighs 22lbs, which puts him in the 10%! He’s my little beanpole, such a difference from when he was the fattest little chunk on the block as a newborn!
  • Thing One turns 9 this summer. Essence of Pre Teen is already thick in the air. Lots of sighs, eye rolling, blank stares, and “oh my gawwwwwwwd’s” (that one drives me up the damn wall). Her bedroom is caught somewhere between little girl land (toys, dolls) and preteen land (posters, new grown up bed set, rug, the way she has a “sitting area” set up). She spends about 30 minutes in the morning primping in front of the mirror, which is funny to me because she always comes out with the same pony tail. I don’t say anything though (unless she’s going to be late).  She still plays like a little girl and does silly little girl stuff, but mostly eschews her younger toys in favor of the ever popular loom band bracelets and playing with the (middle school) girl across the street. She’s still young, but she’s inching more and more towards growing up. And, she wears bralettes now. That was a little traumatizing for moms, let me tell you.
  • Shorty is still at her new job, happy as a damn clam. I swear she is glowing when she comes home from work. She’s been working some overtime here lately to help since I am in school, which is nice that they offer it so readily and that she has the option, but MAN do I miss her on her long days!

That’s about all I can think to tell you! I have a mountain of studying to do and the dog would probably appreciate being let in so she can get into God-knows-what.  I’ll try not to go so long between posts again, though with the rate school is going, no promises!


I don’t wanna go night night:


Playing in the rain in the tent in big sur: