Snippets

You know how when you’re surfing the radio channels, hoping to find actual music instead of static, and you hear all these snippets of conversation and song as you surf the stations, but never any actual full on conversations? Well, I feel like that’s the blog post I’m about to give you, so be forewarned. I am tired and maybe I shouldn’t be blogging right now, should wait for a time when I would be more coherent and have more time… but alas, then the blogging would never get done. And so here I am, offering you snippets of the bigger picture of our lives:

 

 

I am currently sitting here glued to the baby monitor because Pax has had several “fussy” moments tonight but so far, no actual need for a mama intervention. This is unheard of right now and I’m wondering if it’s because of the slight cold he has, or because he is cold (it’s been chilly these past few nights) or if, by some miracle, it is because he is finally getting this self-soothing thing and deciding to sleep through the night. Maybe? Please? In any case, he has semi-awoken and then fallen back to sleep on hiw own several times now and that is no small miracle.

 

Today is my CD1. Yep, the witch finally arrived, after 3 days of is-this-or-isn’t-this-all-the-period-I’m-gonna-get spotting. What a bitch. For the record, it is exactly two weeks after that last set of positive OPKs, which means my body must have at least tried to ovulate, even if it never got all the way there. I am taking some supplements this time to help out with that and hopefully achieve real ovulation… only time will tell. Story of a TTCer’s life, right? We are also looking for a new donor- not that we don’t LOVE our old one, but he is far and we are near and the logistics are hard to coordinate, so it would be nice if we could find someone closer. We’ve talked with a few potential matches but there’s not a lot of, erm, selection? around here, and I’m not sure if the ones we’ve talked to will pan out or not. One is awesome and willing but has a short time frame to work with before he goes out of country, the other is slightly less awesome but not on a time crunch but seems… reluctant? or maybe just a slow communicator? It’s hard to tell. So, we will see if we can make a mach or not. If not, I guess we stick with our old donor and just make it work. It’s not like I would be sad about that- seriously, we love the guy.

 

We are once again foster-less. This happened a few weeks ago but I can’t remember if I blogged it or not. They went back to mom, and although we were sad to see them go, it was nothing like having Addie, Bubs, and L go… they never felt like they were ours for keeps and they weren’t related to us. Our foster specialist said she will work on getting us more kiddos, so in any case, we’ll see!

 

Money has been stressful. Unusually so. Things come up and bills have to be paid and for some reason, those damn researchers still haven’t figured out how to grow money on trees. Oh well. We’ve both been feeling the stress of tightening our belts, and the stress makes it feel like this is the worst possible time to be TTC… but we have to remind ourselves (this is me, reminding myself) that even though it may be a temporary stressful month, the stress will be gone in nine months when the baby is here and certainly in five years when we’re watching the kids all play together, and so even though it is temporarily stressful, it does not impact the bigger picture.

 

We are talking tomorrow with the kids’ doctor about getting Thing One tested for ADHD and maybe learning disorders. It’s been a long road and I know I haven’t blogged about it much- mostly because it’s a lot of frustration and maybe some denial surrounding her behavior and why she acts the way she acts. She is very hyper, inattentive, doesn’t “listen”, immature compared to peers… the list goes on and while none of those make her a bad kid (for every bad, there are a thousand good: she is sweet, silly, great imagination, wants to be helpful, great big sister, loving, kind), all of them make her behavior difficult and frustrating, many times, to handle. (Does that make me a bad mother, to say that? See, this is probably why I don’t blog about it. but anyways.) Her teacher has said a few things to us and we have also noticed some of her grades slipping and feel like it may be due to her lack of ability to pay attention and stay focused on her work.  Her dad has ADHD and I have a family history (not that she has my genes, but I recognize signs/behaviors) so we’re going to talk to her doctor about it and go from there. We will let you know and I will try to be more open about it here and leave the guilt complex behind.

 

Pax is a walking disaster. He has bruises on 2/3 of his body, I swear. Just today he fell into the coffee table and Sunday night he pulled a wooden chair on himself and got such an impressive goose egg that I took him to the ER to be checked out. He was fine, and the doctor sympathetically noted that she has a son just a bit older than Pax’s age and that he went through this stage too. However, I still spent the whole dr’s appointment wondering if she was going to lift up Pax’s pant legs, see that his legs are one big giant bruise, and accuse me of child abuse! The good news is, the bruises are (mostly) in appropriate places (meaning places he falls on: legs, shins, elbows, head!) though we have had some in inappropriate places (a few on his butt cheeks? one or two on the back of his legs, a few on his back) that I am going to ask the doctor about. Someone suggested to us that he may be vitamin-deficient and that could be why he is one big bruise. Not sure but we will check tomorrow at his one year checkup!

 

I need to go to bed now so I can get enough sleep to be able to take my BBT and have it be accurate! Ah, TTC. Thanks for reading my snippets!

 

 

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