lezbemoms

Raising a Blended Family

7dpo and hello, symptoms!

on November 19, 2014

So here I sit, 7 days into my experience of being the nongestational partner from the get go (hereafter abbreviated NGPFGG*). I have already found that one of the most frustrating things about being in the side-saddle this go round is that I do not get first hand experience in what is going on in Shorty’s uterus. I like to obsess, symptom-spot, and drive myself generally crazy during a TWW… And none of that (well, hardly any of it- I’m definitely still going crazy) is generally possible when it’s someone else’s uterus you’re symptom-spotting (except the driving-yourself-crazy part. That is definitely possible). Shorty is my complete opposite and would prefer to sit, ponder, play Xbox, read, and generally completely forget that she could possibly be UH, hello, pregnant. If it were up to her she would let the two weeks pass without remark and probably not even test until like, 10,000 days past missed period. I am SOOOO not that patient.

Luckily for me she took pity on me, both in agreeing to start testing at 12DPO instead of waiting for her missed period, and also in finally admitting that she has been feeling symptoms!!! She admits to purposefully hiding them from me because she knew I would react the way I am, with excited and obsessive abandon (it’s like she knows me or something). They’re not “symptoms,” she insists, “just a weird feeling plus some other stuff.” Further inquiries reveal sore boobs (normal for her, pre-period), sore nipples (not normal), excessive moisture (“I keep feeling like my period has started but it’s not blood!”, not normal), gas (oh holy moly, definitely not normal. I mean, uh… I love you, honey) and cramps (“Like period cramps?” I ask. “Yes,” says she. [Also not a normal symptom for her, I’m the cramper in this relationship]). She’s also said multiple times that it just feels “weird” down there, while putting her hand right over the approximate location of her uterus.

I am left to obsess over ponder the meaning of all of these “symptoms” alone while Shorty serenely goes back to forgetting we are in the TWW. I’m the optimistic one in the relationship: I think she’s sounding more pregnant than not! She goes through times where she tells me with confidence that it didn’t work, she doesn’t feel pregnant and that we’ll have to try again. During such moments I remind her of all the times I said the exact same thing when pregnant with Pax, especially during early days. She also goes through “maybe it worked” moments- that’s generally the most optimistic I can get her. I totally get it: there’s definitely a chance it didn’t work and maybe we will have to try again- that would suck and be a bit of a sting. But there’s also a chance it did work, and I like to (try) to live in the positive. So, as of this moment, halfway through our two week wait, I think there’s nothing that says we’re “out” and a whole lot to be optimistic about; so the only thing I have left to say is: grow baby grow!

*NGPFGG= my attempt to distinguish this experience of creating a baby in someone else’s womb from scratch from that of being Thing One’s mom, a role which is also a nongestational parenthood but which was not from the get go because it began when she was four. I am already an NGP, but this is the first time I have been/will be an NGPFGG. Hopefully that makes sense.

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3 responses to “7dpo and hello, symptoms!

  1. DeCaf says:

    I hope Shorty is pregnant. Good luck!

  2. Fingers crossed ladies xx

  3. Isa says:

    That all sounds super promising to me! That means you’ll test on Monday? Fingers crossed!!

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