lezbemoms

Raising a Blended Family

Scurred.

on October 8, 2014

I have a confession. I haven’t talked about something on here, something that’s potentially big (but hopefully not!) and a little scary. But, it’s the night before a procedure to rule out the scary thing, and I’m thinking about it and my mind is going places it shouldn’t so, I might as well write about it.

Basically, I’ve been having pain in my right boob for a few months now. It comes and goes, off and on, and when it is here it can last anywhere from ten minutes to all day, and feel anything like sharp and burning to just achey. It’s strange. I will randomly catch myself wincing in pain or groping my boob in public (or catch my friends giving me strange looks because I haven’t yet realized that I am groping myself in public) and I will realize that I am doing it because my boob hurts and I am unconsciously trying to relieve the pain. I haven’t noticed any rhyme or reason to it; it’s not associated with any specific bra (or lack thereof), season, weather, exercise activity, etc. It is just… there. Sometimes. And it hurts when it is.

So, when enough was enough I went to see my gynocologist. And he hemmed and hawed and felt and poked and stared at my boob for an uncomfortably long amount of time (yes, I KNOW he probably sees 145,984 boobs a week… but none of those are MY boobs). He did a breast exam and we talked about my breastfeeding history and whether that could be the cause (No, he declared, probably not from what I’m describing) before deciding that I should probably go be seen for a mammogram to rule out the big C word. No, he said, he doesn’t feel anything… but just to be safe I should go. Yes, he said, I’m young for it… but just to be safe, he wants it done anyways.

Just to be safe. And so, my friends, at the ripe old age of almost 28 (Yes, I told you how old I am. Yes, I know I’m a baby. Moving on.), I am going in to be seen for my first mammogram tomorrow morning. And, though I know it’s unlikely and the doctor made it seem like not TOO big a deal, I can’t help but what-ifing myself to death. The future seems a lot scarier when you’re staring down the boob-pancake machine, hoping it spits out the results you want to hear!

I’ll keep ya’ll updated.

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4 responses to “Scurred.

  1. I would be scared too. I’m sure you’re fine, but being scared is what lets doctors catch things early, so this is a good (albeit scary) situation to be in. Thinking of you tomorrow, sending lots of good vibes 🙂

    Also I’m also almost 28. So there ya go.

  2. Curious B says:

    Keep us posted, young ‘in. I also get weird intense pains from time to time but I’m great at ignoring medical things until someone says “that’s not normal”. So now I’m curious in case my intense pains are something other than normal. I hope your mammogram comes out with no issues.

  3. DeCaf says:

    That is scary. I hope it comes back negative.

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