lezbemoms

Raising a Blended Family

Songs of Freedom

on September 16, 2014

It has been over a month since Pax has nursed. And unlike so many moms, who tell stories of their last, bittersweet cuddly nursing session with their babe… I couldn’t even tell you the last time he nursed. Couldn’t. Tell you. Probably in the middle of some dreary night, where he was endlessly latched on and I just wanted to sleep. Something like that.

I don’t miss it, yet at the same time I can’t believe it’s over. Toddler nursing was not my favorite cup of tea, no sir. It felt far too often like I was just being used for funsies, or as a game. Infant nursing was more of a need, for him, and a bonding period for us. I miss those days- the soft coos, fierce scowls while he waited for letdown, happy sucking and milk drunk faces. Yes, that I miss. It went so fast! I remember crying somewhere around the beginning of third trimester, long before he ever arrived, when I got my first hints of colostrum coming in- it was such an alien feeling, that my breasts could serve this function, that I could nurse some little being and nurse him WELL and keep him alive. I remember our first awkward latches in the hospital (awkward for me, positioning him and getting used to the feeling of nursing. He was never awkward. He knew exactly how to get his dinner, right from the get-go), and the nurse who kept insisting I try the “football hold-” which we never liked and never used.  I remember desperate hungry nursing, and slower more luxurious nursing. I remember holy-crap-my-boobs-are-going-to-pop-where’s-that-baby nursing. Overall, I remember the feeling of it all being such a journey. From I-can’t-do-this, to hey-we’re-doing-it, to oh-my-gosh-we’re-DONE.

It was a good journey. A great one, even. But it has served its purpose and we are past it! Now, less than a month from his two year birthday, I can say that Pax is officially weaned and I am officially free*!

*someone tell my boobs that. Pleasekthanks.

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One response to “Songs of Freedom

  1. Lindsay says:

    I’m so jealous! I will miss nursing but I’m SO over it. But with the way night weaning is going in our house (not well at all), I’m terrified to try to wean her entirely. I’m happy for you! Hooorayyyyy body autonomy!

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