lezbemoms

Raising a Blended Family

New Place, Same Old Familiar Pangs

on April 8, 2014

So here we are, with a week of being in our New Space under our belts. It is beginning to feel less new and more lived-in [both the house and the new town], though I think we’re probably just becoming acclimated to living inside a giant maze made of boxes [just the house]. We finally just got internet today and most of the boxes still need unpacking but hey, it’s progress. The good news is, every time I need something I have to open a box, and generally when I open a box I find other stuff that I need and the box magically gets emptied and things gets sorted out. Progress.

Thing One started at her new school today. We were anxious mamas but she came home raving about how everyone wants to be her friend and they get TWO recesses, moms, TWO. Oh, the novelty. It wore off a little bit when she realized she actually had homework to do, but I’m sure it will come back after tomorrow’s set of double recesses. The life of an eight-year-old.

Sometime between my last post and the one before that I neglected to mention that I officially resigned from my old job. It seems like a crazy move, except for the fact that there was no way I was going to be able to do THAT plus do my nursing school stuff come May. Resigning now meant I didn’t have to keep commuting back to our old neighborhood and hour and a half (one way) per day, working night shifts, and finding daycare in a new town (yet.). Plus, it gives me a month- one glorious month- off in between my resignation and school starting in which to pretend I have my old life back. Be a stay at home mom. Pack. Cook. Spend time with my boy and my girls and revel in all the time we have together. Potty train the dog. Etc. It’s a good thing, even if it did make me nervous to do it. I think I just have a hard time letting go and trusting that it will all be okay. So far, so good though.

Speaking of school and the need to make time for it, I got my official acceptance today to my nursing program. It was already assumed (for various reasons) that I was in, but it was nice to have that reassurance and the typed out text with my name and the words “Orientation, May 12, 8am” written together and in context. So there’s that. Officially getting into school though means I officially do need to start searching for daycare here for Pax. I am dreading it. Again. I swear I have Mama Separation Anxiety.  Our first daycare lady was so horrible, and then we had our family friend watch him plus another lady we found who was just sweet as can be with him and loved him like her own. I don’t think we’ll get that lucky again and so here I am, full of nerves and re-dreading the daycare search, all over again. It makes it worse that it is a new town and I have zero leads on where to even start looking. The school itself provides a daycare, but I am suspicious of that by nature, having gone to a small university daycare as a child, so we will look into it but also see what else is out there. New town, same old familiar (daycare)pangs.

And finally, in typical my wife fashion, I was informed just days ago that since I have officially resigned and have nothing better to do, I am being sent on a trip back home to California for two weeks at the end of this month. April 21, to be exact. No arguments and a nonrefundable plane ticket. And it’s not just me going, actually- I’m taking the one year old with me [in.my.lap.help.me.], though sadly the wife and daughter have to stay due to work and school, respectively. It is, as wife said, my chance to recharge, to see family and friends that I haven’t seen in the two years it’s been since we made our way out there, and to allow myself and Pax to visit with his great-grandmothers [all three of them], particularly since one of them is pretty ill and may not be around much longer. My wife, who missed saying goodbye to her own grandmother by mere hours before she passed*,  told me she does not want the same thing to happen to me. It was a ridiculously sweet gesture to make and, since I had no choice and it was forced on me, I feel free to be excited and happy about the trip [somehow, if I had been the one to decide to go and buy the ticket, that would have made me feel guilty. Even though it would have been for the same reasons. That’s my effed-up psychology for you.]. The other great thing about this trip is that this is literally my last chance to go for probably the next two years, since once my school starts it’s an accelerated 16-month program with no time to take trips or time off. So I’m really happy to be taking advantage of the time I do have and happy to see Cali again, even if I am not the one who came up with the idea in the first place. Thanks wife, I love you!

 

*She literally missed it by hours. We were in Cali and she got the call, we booked an emergency flight but it just didn’t get there in time. It was really sad and something I know she regrets.

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3 responses to “New Place, Same Old Familiar Pangs

  1. Lindsay says:

    So awesome that you get a month off! Sounds like life is gonna be really intense when you start school. And how amazing of your wife to book your trip to CA! Enjoy the month! ❤

  2. Isa says:

    Glad things are settling down, even if you’re still in a maze! And congrats on the official acceptance! I’m all excited for you–I love school! I also love that your wife got you that plane ticket. It’s going to be so nice for you to have that time and get to relax a little before the whirlwind begins. Don’t worry about Pax on the plane–just bring books and snacks and do whatever you can to make him tired beforehand and hopefully he’ll sleep most of the way there. I took my friend’s daughter to Portland before we had kids, and I managed to knock her out for all but about 20 minutes of the flight. Just me and a snuggly snoring toddler. Heaven!

  3. meridith says:

    Oh, I would love a trip to California (even with a lap baby). She is wonderful for making the plan for you. Enjoy every last second!

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