lezbemoms

Raising a Blended Family

Decisions, Decisions

on February 19, 2014

Hard on the heels of Shorty’s job offer came quite a few decisions about what our life is going to look like now and how the next few years are going to go.  It wasn’t so abrupt, really; we’ve been talking about the possibilities should she get the job or not get the job since last August. However, there were a few things we hadn’t ironed out completely yet and once she had the job, it was time to make decisions. Which are as follows:

  • The first, and hardest of the decisions to make, is that babymaking must wait, for now. We had already put it off this fall due to financial reasons, but now that we can swing it financially we must put it off for scheduling reasons. Shorty is up next on the baby-making train and she needs to have at least three months into her new jobs before we start trying so that she is eligible for FMLA when the baby is born. However, more realistically, the first year is kind of a trial period at her new job and also involves a lot of schedule changes and some overtime plus a physical fitness evaluation, and none of those things are really conducive to being any stage of pregnant. Plus, I am starting nursing school this May and it is an accelerated 16 month program; we would like me to be nine months out or less before getting pregnant so that I can enjoy the new baby too when s/he arrives. All this puts our tentative timeline at TTC again at next January- a hard pill to swallow, both because it is so far away and I am impatient and because I had alwaysalwaysalways wanted Pax and his next sibling to be super close in age. Ideally, for me, we would have a newborn RIGHT NOW, and that would be the perfect amount of closeness- but obviously that is not the case and being forced to wait longer makes it worse.  But, we have good reasons for waiting and it makes logical sense even if emotionally it is not what I want, so wait we will.
  • We will be moving again. Yes, we just moved last year. No, I do not want to move again. Can you hear me sighing now? I actually love our current house and am not looking forward to the arduous process of packing and moving, but Shorty’s new job is a hour and a half away from where we currently live and since she will be there for quite some time, we feel it prudent to move now and reduce that commute. My current job is not a career nor am I attached to it, and I am okay job hunting in whatever new city we find ourselves in, so there’s not a whole lot of reasons to stay here. We aren’t sure which location we will choose, but since her new job is on the Illinois-Indiana border, we will probably end up moving just over the border somewhere because Illinois is much more gay friendly than Indiana and heck, if we CAN live there, why wouldn’t we? We can’t move too far because Thing One’s dad is here and she still sees him every other weekend, but the border of Illi-Indy is definitely a feasible option. We are currently house-hunting and looking to move mid-spring.
  • I’m starting school, we just don’t know where yet. I’m already finishing the prerequisites now, and the actual program will start in May. Option number one is a school near where we currently live, but which has online classes and could potentially be still doable even with the move. I pretty much have guaranteed admission into this school, which is nice. Option number two is a school in the same town where Shorty’s new job is. Obviously, I’m hoping for that school but what makes it tricky is that they don’t make admissions decisions until the first week of May for a mid-May start date! Ahhh! I’m in the process of applying to both so we will see what happens; both are accelerated 16 month courses (May 2014-August 2015) that will lead to a degree in nursing and my RN, so in terms of career goals, they are equal. We just have to see which one pans out!

So those are our decisions. They weren’t all easy to make but they’re definitely the right ones and I feel good about where they’re leading us. Short-term, school for me and rookie status for her, and no new additions to the family*. Long term, a stable career for her, a new career for me, AND our third child!

*No new HUMAN members. I failed to introduce my birthday present this year- we may or may not have fallen victim to No Baby, New Pet.  Meet Denali, our new husky-child:

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And, although she was supposed to be MY dog, we can all clearly see whose dog she actually is:

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6 responses to “Decisions, Decisions

  1. AndiePants says:

    Puppy + baby pictures are THE BEST! Thanks for sharing that one!

  2. DeCaf says:

    puppy + baby = win! My wife awwwed over that picture. 🙂 I hear you about having to delay, I wanted to be up the duff this month, but alas, job stuff.

  3. Aww that looks like a theo and beau picture! (on instagram #theoandbeau) she has a blog too!

  4. pepibebe says:

    Oh my, what an adorable puppy!

  5. Isa says:

    Loving Denali! What a cute puppy! I’m sorry about the TTC going on hold, but your reasons are the best, so there’s no good way around them, I don’t think. Also, are there any legal reasons for you not to be able to move out of state, even if it’s close enough for T1’s dad to visit? I hope not!

  6. Puppy! So terribly cute puppy! Puppy cuddling with baby!

    Ahem. (It doesn’t help that I grew up with huskies, and my parents have several, and I want once we live somewhere with a yard we can let a dog run around in.)

    Congrats on the new job, and starting school, and moving, and the new (furry) baby. It sounds like there are a lot of positive changes going on right now, and that’s great. It sucks to need to wait on trying for another kid, but I can’t fault your logic. And from our own experience, while the gap between Critter and Aster is more than we wanted, so far it’s worked out really well.

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