lezbemoms

Raising a Blended Family

Goin’ to the chapel…

on November 9, 2013

… Or, you know, the county courthouse. Either or.

Shorty and I had our big wedding with the big poofy dress and all the guests and that two and a half years ago on the beach in California. We said our “I Dos” with the waves crashing behind us and spent the night partying it up. Thing One was our flower girl and it was amazing- we had a blast.

…Which is why we absolutely cannot get Thing One to understand why Mommy and Mama will be getting married AGAIN.

“Will there be cake again?” she asks.
“No, sweetheart. No cake.”
“Will I get the be flower girl again?”
“No sweetheart. There won’t BE a flower girl this time.”
“Well then,” she usually replies, stomping an imperious foot. “WHAT is the POINT of getting married AGAIN? You already love each other!”

This is so very, very true. And would be spot-on advice, too, except for the fact that, like many of you, we are married but not legally so. The state where we wed was, at the time, having a spat with itself (California and Prop 8) and our home state does not allow it either. So we are trying to put together a very last-minute trip to New York* to get married before the end of the year.

We need to do this for two (very non-romantic) reasons: insurance and taxes. Now that we can legally file together, we would like to do so! And, we are trying to get Obamacare insurance for our whole family, since Shorty’s work will not recognize our marriage and therefore she cannot carry me on her insurance, plus her insurance sucks and we pay ridiculous amounts of money to have a huge deductible that we will never meet. So, marriage. Legally this time.

We think we’ll be road tripping it in two weeks’ time, hoping to stay with a friend who lives in the city. This will be a very last-minute, budget trip, and the plan is to drive out overnight Wednesday (we have to be there Thursday to apply for the license to be able to marry Friday, since there is a 24 hour waiting period). We don’t have a lot of time (and would fly if plane tickets weren’t so damn expensive!) but if anyone lives in NY or on the drive to/from (coming from Indiana), we would love to take a pit stop and meet you

*New York: randomly chosen as one of the states within driving distance that has the smallest (24hr) wait period between applying for a license and being granted one; most other states where it is legal are 72hr wait period).

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