lezbemoms

Raising a Blended Family

Almost One

on September 25, 2013

The days are flying by, the air is turning crisp, and the leaves are changing colors. Pax is about to be one and rather than looking forwards, I find myself looking mostly back.

This time last year I was huge and done. Oh, so done. On this day last year I was two days from my due date and taking naps with Addiekins, This time last year, Pax had yet to grace us with his presence. We didn’t yet know his smiles or his cooing or his sweet, sweet snuggles. We didn’t know he would be a self-assigned cosleeper or that he would scare the crap out of us so many times or that it would feel like our hearts were walking around outside our chests 24/7. I didn’t know I would be in labor for so long or that it would go so very differently than we had all hoped and yet still turn out just perfect. 

We just didn’t know.

This year, I am surrounded by two toddlers and yet another not-exactly-mine infant. We are two weeks (tomorrow) from Pax’s birthday party, and rather than the excited elation of getting to meet baby boy and the tired doneness of nine months pregnant, I am instead feeling slightly sad.

I feel like it’s all gone by too fast and like I am losing something as he completes his first year here on Earth. I’m feeling nostalgic for all the times that were and all of his “firsts”- even though there are so many firsts we have yet to see. I miss the baby that he was even as he turns into an amazing little toddler.

I know we have some amazing times ahead of us and on his day, his birth day, I will be the one celebrating, grinning from ear to ear, caught up in the joy that is our son. For now though, I am looking back on his first year… and what an amazing year it was.

Many more to come.

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One response to “Almost One

  1. I remember feeling the exact same way. Why must these kiddos grow so stinkin’ fast? I was just telling my wife the other day that our little gal is only 5 months away from her second birthday and yet I feel like we were just celebrating her first… tear 😥

    Happy almost-birthday to your little guy. 🙂

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