lezbemoms

Raising a Blended Family

Notes from the trenches at 4 months in

on February 5, 2013

So, we’re just about four months into this twinfant/infant parenting gig, and I thought I would share some brief observations and updates with y’all, bullet-style since I don’t have time to figure out transitions between paragraphs and all that crap.

Observations and Updates:

– Breastfeeding a baby with teeth is an entirely different ball game than breastfeeding one without them. It’s like the difference between confronting an unarmed teenager and having it out with a member of Hell’s Angels- shit just got real. Also, yes, I said TEETH. He already has his bottom two and he’s working on at least two more. I have been dreading this day and now it has come- and when he bit me for the first time I just about went through the roof because HOLY SHITBALLS! That crap hurts.

-Similarly, changing a baby who consumes only formula versus changing one on solids… Well, I’ll leave you to imagine the dirty details (or to chuckle wryly in a been-there-done-that sort of way), but let me just say DAMN child. I would ask what you’ve been eating, but I already know the details. And the colors.

-I have now perfected the art of being as quiet as possible when getting up early in the morning to put Thing One on the bus, in order to keep sleeping babies sleeping and in the hopes that I may rejoin them once Thing One is bundled off to school. I mean sure, it may sound neurotic to (quite literally) tiptoe around the house- old wooden floors are creaky– or insist on whispering all morning long- THING ONE, WHY AREN’T YOU USING YOUR WHISPER VOICE (said in a whisper-shout, naturally)– or to slip into the bathroom between the the nursery and our room and turn on the light that isn’t attached to the fan before Thing One can get in there, because she can’t reach it and otherwise she’ll turn on the light that’s closest to the door that happens to be attached to a fan that is LOUD… But hey, to me it’s not neurosis, it’s all just good plain common sense. There’s also the Don’t Put Your Shoes On Until Right Before You Leave rule (in order to prevent clomping shoes on wooden floors) and the Bring Everything You Need Downstairs With You The First Time rule (in order to prevent loud running up and down the stairs that happen to share a wall with the nursery) and okay yes, there may be a little neurosis going on in the name of getting the most sleep possible. Only a little.

-I’ve learned that while laying the babies down to “play together” sounds cute in theory, it usually results in one baby grabbing the other baby by the throat/crotch/eyeball/ear, and generally isn’t recommended at the moment (at least not without very very close supervision and a referee uniform). But, it makes for cute pictures… in between the pulling-them-off-each-other bits. And we thought we’d have to wait for toddlerhood for that. HA.

-It is now impossible to sleep lying down with either of the babies lying on top of you… Much to Pax’s sorrow. Reclining, yes. Sleeping in bed, no… because doing so feels like you’re putting the weight of two or maybe even three bowling balls directly on top of your rib cage (hey, I pick the light sissy bowling balls, okay?) and claustrophobia immediately sets in. Side-snuggling it is!

– We’re getting better at getting the babies, their gear, Thing One and ourselves out the door in a reasonable amount of time. And by “reasonable,” I mean somewhere in the half-an-hour range, as opposed to the hour-to-hour-and-a-half range. Go team!

-Our king-size bed has officially been ordered! There is light at the end of the co-sleeping tunnel! Or more room to spread out, anyways.

-I cannot believe Addie is six months old, and Pax is four. I know I say things like this a lot, but I really can’t fathom it. Addie is halfway through babyhood. Pax is right behind her. And I’m pretty sure both of them are already knocking on teenagehood’s door and practicing their attitudes. Eee gawds.

-Life is good.

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2 responses to “Notes from the trenches at 4 months in

  1. Isa says:

    OMG the CHEEKS! They are too sweet. And you are some real troopers. Does Pax listen when you look at him like he’s just bitten you and say, ‘don’t bite!’? EJ seems to get it, or at least I don’t get bitten often, but she’s older, so maybe he’s not there yet?

  2. allison-lee says:

    Goodness, I hope my child doesn’t teethe until she’s a year old.
    Sounds like you guys are doing incredibly well though. Those are lovely little babies and I’m sure an equally lovely Thing One you’ve got there.

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