lezbemoms

Raising a Blended Family

Stay-at-home-mom practice.

on March 19, 2012

Well, this morning, Shorty had to be at work at 6am and I had to be at work at 730am.  So, since she had to go in before me, it was my morning with the kids.  I got myself up around 545 to leisurely get ready in peace and quiet, by myself, before waking the kidlets up to get them dressed and bustle them out the door sometime around 615.  We have to be at the babysitter’s by 630 on these early mornings in order to make sure that I have time to drop them off and make my morning commute, and so there we were, standing on the babysitter’s doorstep at 630 am… but something was wrong.  The house was dark (it’s never dark when we get there, she’s always awake waiting for us) and no one answered the door.  In desperation, I knocked a few times and then I even rang the doorbell (something I have barred the kids from doing since her husband sleeps in even when she gets up early to babysit).  Finally I reached for my phone and called her.  She picked up and it sounded like she’d been asleep right beforehand… which, as it turns out, she was, because today was the day she was not babysitting due to her mother having surgery today!  I felt HORRIBLE for forgetting (although in my defense, I did tell her Friday that Monday would be an early morning for us and we’d see her then, and all she said was have a good weekend… nothing to remind me of the surgery! But I digress).  I apologized for waking her up and got myself and my kids off her porch as fast as possible, feeling pretty embarrassed and also feeling bad that I’d woken her up.

So I bundled the kids back into the car and turned back around, headed for home.  On my way, I called work, letting them know that yes, even though my lunch was packed, my scrubs on, and I was in the car… I still would not be coming into work today.  And just like that I got myself a three day weekend! Hot diggity.

T1 got on her bus at home at 8am and Bubby and I have been home alone together ever since.  We’ve laughed and danced in the living room, sang silly songs, and ran a couple errands (including dropping off my wife’s lunch at her work, since she forgot to pack one).  I baked cookies, straightened up a little, made plans for dinner… all before noon! Now it’s after lunch and he’s napping while I take a minute to relax. Ah, bliss.  I have been reveling in this chance to be a stay-at-home mom for the day, and then I realized, that once the baby gets here I might not have to pretend anymore! We’ve been talking a lot about what we want to do in terms of sending the kids to the babysitter’s, staying home, etc, and so far it seems like as long as we can make it work financially, I’ll probably stay home.  Daycare for Bubby and Baby (T1 doesn’t go usually, since one of us is usually able to put her on and take her off the bus) would total at least half of what I make… financially, it would make more sense for me to stay home with the kids.  Plus, a friend of ours said that if I stayed home, she’d be happy to send her two kids to me for daycare 2-3 days a week instead of where they go now.  So I could make some money there AND get to be a stay at home mom AND have playmates for Bubby!

We’re still mulling the options, of course…. things like insurance, for example, are hard.  This damn state doesn’t allow us to be on each other’s insurance, so there is the little question of where I would get health insurance from.  The baby could be on Shorty’s insurance once the adoption goes through, and probably on medicaid in between to bridge the gap.  But still, that’s a lot to think about.  I’d like to think that it will work out.

It would make a lot of sense, and also, finances aside, neither of us is keen on sending our 6 week old baby to daycare just because some law says that’s how long I get for maternity leave (who decided 6 weeks was enough, by the way? I HATE the way the US treats maternity leave!). We would rather parent our baby ourselves, but we’ll see.

Suffice it to say, today was a great taste of what is hopefully to come once the baby’s born… with a baby added into the schedule, of course!  We shall see…

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10 responses to “Stay-at-home-mom practice.

  1. mummylass says:

    6 weeks is amazingly short. We get 9 months paid leave and a further 3 months unpaid if we desire it.

  2. Isa says:

    that sounds lovely. Mmm…stay at homeness. I’d make so many cakes! Unfortunately I’m stuck until I’m done having babies I think. But maybe I’ll get to make up for it when they’re a little older and can help with the cakes! 🙂

  3. There are many things I love about America, but the way they treat parents surrounding parental leave and people in general surrounding insurance make me serious question how a first world country can get away with that. I hope you’re able to work out a scenario that works for you and your family. Sounds like there are some good options on the table.

  4. jessie says:

    My patchecks are paying for daycare for the two with barely anything left over:(. It’s that whole insurance thing for me. I would love to work 3 days a week or something

    • lezbemoms says:

      what about going on medicare/medicaid? That’s something we’re strongly considering, both for me and the baby (until the second parent adoption is completed and the baby can go on Shorty’s insurance). I hate to do it, one because I feel like it’s inferior to my current insurance coverage and two because I feel like it’s “abusing” government resources… but if the government would recognize our relationship in the first place we wouldn’t be in this situation. Ya know?

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