lezbemoms

Raising a Blended Family

On the Eve of “Safety”

on March 14, 2012

Well, folks.  I’m not sure how, but here we are… on the eve of the magical 12 week mark.  I know I’ve said I’ve been pretty relaxed about this whole pregnancy thing (and I have) but that does not stop me from breathing a small sigh of relief at yet another safety milestone reached.

I’m not sure why, but certain weeks in my head I have marked out as “significant” ones that I particularly look forward to reaching.  They are weeks 12, 18, 20, 28, 32 (my favorite number!), 36, and of course, 40.  This pretty much has nothing to do with any fetal milestones* and everything to do with all the moments I had, pre-pregnancy, when I was reading pregnancy blogs or talking to pregnant friends and was impressed by the mileage they’d reached in pregnancy… they just seemed so pregnant.  So now, to be reaching one of those milestones myself, the coveted 12 weeks…  well, I basically can’t believe it.  But I am sooooo happy, nonetheless.  🙂  (*In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m missing a couple crucial ones in there, like the week marker between 1st and 2nd tri, 2nd and 3rd tri, and the one in there in between 20 and 28 when the fetus actually becomes viable in terms of living on the outside, but I can’t remember which week.)

So here’s a YAY for being just about 12 weeks, and having reached that first milestone!  In “celebration,” Shorty and I recently stopped at an Old Navy store while they were having a BOGO shirt sale.  I picked up several maternity shirts as well as a pair of capris and a pair of clearance maternity pants that I think will be useful for work when I outgrow my scrubs.  The shirts were all so cute and summery, I can’t wait to start wearing them and show off my bump when I eventually get one!

It’s also funny to think that this is the point at which we were planning on telling the kids.  It seems so natural, now, that they should already know.  T1 regularly comes up to “kiss the baby” (any random spot on my stomach she can reach) and Bubby will randomly ask if today is the day the baby is finally coming (months and weeks mean nothing to him, lol!).  It’s cute.  I love having them involved and I love seeing them excited over their future sibling.  Heart=happy.

Speaking of the kids!  I haven’t updated you on them in awhile.

Bubby is doing so so well.  We are so proud of him!  He has adjusted very well to life with us, to the point that it’s no longer an adjustment, it’s just normal life.  He has his toys, and his room, and his likes and dislikes.  Food and mealtimes are something we struggle greatly with- he is the world’s pickiest eater and will not eat anything that does not look like pizza, chips, or hot dog.  We attribute this fact to two things: One, he’s three, and some pickiness is completely normal behavior for this age, and two, growing up thus far all he has ever eaten has been junk food… so no wonder he turns his nose up at anything else!  We are patiently (and notsopatiently) working with him on this, alternately cajoling, pleading, ignoring, bribing, punishing, giving choices, etc.  No one strategy has worked thus far but he has had small victories… a bite of carrot here or eating some pasta there.  Little steps.  Three-year-old-sized steps. 🙂  The boy will be four in May and although it will probably be a low key affair due to the fact that we are also trying to move at the same exact time, we are already having fun contemplating birthday presents and birthday plans.  Since the train table that we got him for Christmas has gone unopened and unnoticed and still wrapped upstairs, we might repurpose it into a birthday gift and buy him some more Thomas train tracks and the like.  Or, if Shorty has her way, he may be getting a used powerwheel (my main argument against this is that he is a BIG little kid, I feel that he will quickly outgrow the powerwheel).  But we shall see.

On the honesty side, I have to say that I feel like Shorty has a much much deeper bond with this kid than I do.  She has a natural knack with kids and she and Bubby have been buds from day one of his life anyways… he’s cute and I love him, but I don’t feel as deeply connected as Shorty does.  Maybe in time. =/

On the T1 side of things, well… she is an amazing little girl and we love her so much!  She is crazy and silly and funny and enthusiastic, but can also be snuggly and warm and want to cuddle… for about two seconds, until she’s back to bouncing around the room.  She is our ball of energy and although that drives me crazy a lot of the times, it makes me smile to think about it right now.  She’s like a little ray of sunshine- even when she’s being annoyingly hyperactive, she’s still happy and silly and it’s hard to stay annoyed.  School-wise, she is currently finishing out first grade… but what she doesn’t know yet, because we aren’t ready to tell her, is that she will be repeating the first grade again.  😦  It’s for the best, though it’s hard not to feel like a failure as a parent.  We’ve worked hard with her on reading and spelling but she’s just… failing to thrive, basically. She’s not flat out failing anything, but she’s not excelling like we would like, either.  We’ve talked extensively with her teacher, her principal, and her school psychologist about this and they are all in agreement.   T1 is not, by any means, dumb… but the general consensus is that she is very very young, even for her age.  She is the youngest one in her class (she won’t be seven until July, and back before kindergarten she turned five right before the cutoff)… so while most of the kids in her class have spent a year being seven already, T1 has yet to even turn 7 and it shows.  She also plays “young”- always preferring to play with friends’ younger siblings than with friends.  She is easily distracted and hard to keep on task, and in general, she is very immature.  The hope is that by giving her a year to catch up, and by putting her in a class of kids who are her age and not ahead of her, she will catch up and thrive.  There has also been talk of disability testing for a learning disability, though if that happens she wouldn’t be tested until next fall, because right now she is too young for the test to give an accurate reading.  On the plus side, T1 tries, so hard, to please everyone.  This kid has a lot of spunk and she puts her heart and soul into everything.  She’s a truly GOOD kid and I know that given the chance and the right circumstances, she can thrive.  Overall, we’re very positive about the plan to hold her back, believe it’s the absolute right decision, and looking forward to having a happy, non-struggling kid again.  We still need to figure out when the time and place will be right to tell her, and how to tell her, that she will not be going on to second grade with her friends… but our possible move could help with this, since if we move she will need to switch schools and won’t be surrounded by those who were her peers but now, are suddenly a grade ahead.  On the other hand, moving is not a definite, and if we stay in the same school we’ll have to reckon with that and figure it all out.  We will see.

Overall, life is good in this household, and even though T1 struggles in school, she and Bubby both are still happy, thriving little kids.  Life is good. 🙂

Below are a few recent pics (and a HILARIOUS video of T1 “dancing” to the music at the local froyo shop.  You MUST watch it!).

very typical... being a goofball and playing Jumpstart.

 

One recent day where T1 came home from school and crashed at 530 in the afternoon. We thought for sure she was getting sick, but luckily, no sickness appeared!

Also very typical... this kid plays on the ipad more than we do, I swear.

Silly boy!

 

T1 Dancing!

 

 

Advertisements

4 responses to “On the Eve of “Safety”

  1. C Storm says:

    Long time lurker, first time commenter…we had a little one placed with us in foster at age six who sounds a lot like your girl and retaining her for a year was absolutely the right choice for ours (we’ve adopted). It can be framed positively and it is so nice to see ours be totally right on track with her classmates.

  2. Isa says:

    Actually, I think you hit most of the big weeks in that list! Congrats for getting to the first one–the others will be coming along in no time! I just need to get me to the last one on your list (and hopefully not to the real golden one: 42)!
    My coworker just described her daughter as a ‘living glass of champagne’ yesterday, and it sounds like T1 might fit that description, too! She’ll be so much happier next year being the ‘big kid’–totally sounds like the right decision.
    Also–you slipped in ‘we’re moving’. Where? When? So exciting!

  3. […] 18 weeks already? 18 weeks seems significant to me, not only because it is on my list of milestone weeks that I have going on in my head, but also because Shorty and I have had this magical number in our […]

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: