Raising a Blended Family

Buzzing-in-my-seat excited.

on October 6, 2011

Well… here’s where we’re at:

  • We are definitely IN this cycle.  Can we all just take a moment to step back in wonderment at that? We get to try.  We get to have another go round.  At the end of this month, I will be peeing on sticks- and not the OPK kind.  The REAL live holy-shit-this-could-result-in-a-baby kind!!!  Holy crapballs!
  • We have donor childhood photos and oh my mother earth he was a cutie!  We have adult photos too, and he’s a good lookin’ guy… so the probability is that any kids conceieved by this guy will not be ugly.  That’s a plus, right?
  • Speaking of which… you may be wondering why we need photos (at least the adult ones) since Shorty works with the guy.  The answer is that the donor we will be using for this round is NOT the donor Shorty works with.  Instead, he’s one that Shorty found on the FSDR site. I have two thoughts on this:   First, I am slightly relieved to be using a  stranger-donor, rather than the guy Shorty works with.  It’ll be less awkward down the road, you know?  THe FSDR donor has absolutely no connection with us in real life, whereas Shorty’s coworker does.  It’s not that I don’t trust the coworker, and I would still be willing to use him in the future… but this option, since it is an option, just seems better.  Does that even make sense?  Second, I know that site can be tricky and caution is advised, but I also know that many people have used it and all has worked out well**.  The donor we’ve found has prior past pregnancies from the site (with references to back him up), clean STD tests, and wants a contract and nothing to do with the kiddo after conception.  He’s willing to be known once the kiddo’s 18, but says it’s up to us. All pluses, in our book.  Plus… it’s hard to explain, and you’re probably going to think we’re crazy… but we’re drawn to him.  I know it sounds funny, but seriously, the minute Shorty clicked on him and we looked at his profile, it was like… that’s him.  That’s our donor.  Since then, we’ve talked with him several times and the feeling has just grown.  Fate, maybe?  I don’t know.  I certainly never felt this attached to frozen sperm samples.  🙂  So anyways. Yeah.  He’s from Chicago, and we’re from Indy, which brings us to our next point…
  • Logistics.  It’s about a 3 hour drive, which is do-able. His suggestion was that we get a hotel room in which he can “produce a sample” and leave it there.  He’ll leave and then we’ll go up and insem, have some time to bum around and let it settle butt-up style ;), and then drive home.  Or stay overnight.  Either/or, depending on the time of day.  The trickiest part of all of this is not knowing exactly when O day will be… it should be around the 24th, but given stress and all of that, it could be delayed.  Also, doing it this way, instead of with work-guy, possibly means only one insem/cycle.  But, using the fertility monitor plus OPKs last cycle made it pretty crystal freakin clear when my O day was, plus it gives you that 6 day high fertility window, which is like a blinking red sign saying “Hey, ovulation is coming up!” and gives us the possibility of doing more than one insem.  We’ll see.  The donor also said he’s had several past pregnancies work on the first try.  I’m not trying to be naive, but of course I’m hoping ours will, too.  Realistically I know that this first cycle has the same 20-25% chance as every other cycle (perhaps even less since we’ve never done this this way before!), but the hopeful part of me is… well… hopeful.  We shall see.

In any case, where we’re at right now:  Pretty frickin’ excited about sums it up.  We have all the OPKs and CBEFM sticks and FRER tests lined up in their respective boxes on the windowsill in the bathroom, and every time I go in there I can’t help stare at the FRER tests.  I can’t wait to be in the TWW.  I can’t wait to try this.  I can’t believe we actually get our shot at a Christmas baby. 🙂

*For the record, we’ve definitely gotten some “creeper” emails from a few guys on the site- particularly from one that looks like… well, I wouldn’t trust him around my children, let’s just put it that way.  But in general, those emails are the exceptions, not the rule, and the site gives you the ability to block such users.  The majority of the people we’ve contacted have been helpful and open, the forums on there are a great resource and they have a whole section of the site dedicated to “donor references” from women who have conceived using particular donors on there.  Pretty cool.  If anyone has any questions about our experiences so far feel free to email me.


8 responses to “Buzzing-in-my-seat excited.

  1. I’ve never heard of that website. We aren’t looking for a donor right now, but I’m interested in checking it out just to see what it’s like.

    Good luck! I hope things work out for you this cycle!

  2. mummylass says:

    Good luck! You are doing it in a similar way to us, we had a 3 hour drive as well 🙂

  3. A (A&K) says:

    Good luck!!!! Sounds very promising. Just be careful if the hotel scenario ends up being the route that works best….I worry about the what if’s! So excited for you guys to have a shot at this month 🙂

    • lezbemoms says:

      yeah, if the hotel scenario is what happens, we won’t ever be alone with the guy. We’ll wait in the lobby or something… I worry about what ifs too! 😉

  4. K says:

    Woo hoo!!!! Great news! Hope this cycle is the lucky one.

    P.S. I don’t get the part about the Christmas baby. A little help?

    • lezbemoms says:

      my parents live really far away, and my mom will be over-the-moon excited when we get pregnant. They’re going to be visiting this Christmas and we (probably naively) would love to be pregnant by Christmas Day to make the announcement that day, in person. That’s all.

  5. I am so glad that the site produced a good donor choice for you too! 🙂

    It sounds like you’ve thought about the important stuff.. full speed ahead!

  6. I just wanted to say that I totally get seeing a donor profile and knowing that’s the one for you. Since we went the sperm bank route we never got to contact our donor directly, of course, but when we saw the long profile we knew we’d made the right choice. (And we were so set on our donor that we waited several months for the sperm to come out of quarantine.) Now, of course, we have Critter, so… sometimes you just have to follow your gut. 🙂

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