lezbemoms

Raising a Blended Family

Preparations…

on September 29, 2011

Shorty is supposed to talk to our potential KD again today at work (and possibly tonight on the phone, too, if they don’t have adequate time to talk today) to get a more final decision after all the preliminary conversations we’ve been having.  Depending on how this conversation goes… well, I don’t have to explain to you guys what all could happen here.  Depending on how it goes, we could be doing a sit down this weekend to go through everything that would be required in detail, have him go ahead and go get tested,  and just generally take further steps towards having him transition from “potential KD” to just “KD”.

I’ve also been working on crafting a donor contract, using one I found on the HRC website as a baseline and editing it to include Shorty in the contract as well.  A neighbor of ours across the street is just about to graduate law school, so we’re going to ask her to read over it for us, to make sure we’re not missing anything that would protect us or our future child more than the language that’s already in there.  I’ve done a lot of research on the laws in our state as well regarding sperm donor parental rights, and there just don’t seem to be any… which makes the contract we’re drawing up even more important in my mind, since it could potentially be all that stands between our family being a family of four or suddenly having a big problem on our hands.  Not that I think this man would do that- Shorty knows and likes him, and I’ve met his mom as well… they’re great people.  But one can never be too careful when protecting one’s family.

Other than that though, there’s not much I can do except sit and wait.  Wait for Shorty to tell me how the convo went, wait to sit down with the donor, wait for STD testing to be done, and wait for AF to come.

Speaking of which…  AF is still not here, making this another 60ish day cycle.  We’re still unsure what could potentially be causing this (and haven’t yet gotten any tests done), but it has occurred to us that stress could be the culprit.  From the time when these long periods started until now has been pretty durn stressful, what with the wedding, PhD drop, and all.  Maybe I’m just uber stressed out and my body is reflecting that?  Maybe it’s going to go back to normal but it might take some time?  Maybe I’m completely grasping at straws.  Who knows.  The good news is, my health insurance kicks in only 30 days after my start date at this new job (a few weeks), instead of the 90 day wait period we were dreading, so answers should soon(ish) be forthcoming.  And in the meantime, we figure that if we get everything in place regarding PKD, it wouldn’t hurt to do one “test” cycle… the worst that could happen is that I come up not pregnant and we get the tests done anyways. Or, I could get pregnant and it would be a moot point.  So we’ll see.

Anyways, so that’s where we’re at.  It’s a funny little dance, isn’t it- the KD dance?  Having a series of delicate conversations that gradually lead to more serious delicate conversations that gradually lead to okay, let’s do this…  or at least, I hope that’s the way it turns out. We shall see!

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3 responses to “Preparations…

  1. The Professor says:

    Exciting! But I imagine also scary. Keep us posted. 😉

  2. Karen says:

    Even with a donor contract, you might also research the state laws surrounding using a known donor. I know in some states that even with a donor contract, if the KD comes back and wants parental rights, they will test the child and if the DNA matches, they will grant him rights. (Of course, they will also require him to pay child support.) It was one of the reasons we went with a sperm donor instead of considering a KD.

    Good luck getting preggers.

  3. K says:

    I hope the conversation goes well! We used a KD and trust me when I say that the awkward conversations are good practice for the even more awkward moments/exhanges to come. LOL! Totally worth it if you have the right person though, in my biased opinion. 🙂 Sorry about the crazy cycle. It could totally be stress. Hope it resolves itself soon so you can get down to business!!

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