lezbemoms

Raising a Blended Family

And then there were four.

on July 15, 2011

As of last night, we are a family of four. No, neither one of us had a baby (I wish!) and we did not adopt another furbaby (though, counting the furballs, we are a family of six…). Shorty’s younger sister (I guess she’s now my younger sister too!) K is now living with us for the school year, in order to get her out of a bad situation and give her a chance to finish high school (and go to college next fall, since I am bound and determined to do everything in my power to make college happen for her!). The plan is for her to live here for the school year and then move into the dorms using student aid money once she’s done with high school and on to college.

Needless to say, it’s an adjustment, but one we’re all making willingly. I am feeling a little bit like I just suddenly became the parent of an 18 year old… quite a difference from parenting a five year old! But, I’m sure I’ll get used to it, as will Shorty. She’s much better off with us than any of her alternate options, and hey, after we clean out the spare bedroom from all the CRAP sitting in it right now, she’ll even have a place to sleep and a bedroom of her own- how about that? It means one more person for the holidays, a grocery shopping buddy for me (Shorty HATES shopping of any variety), one more person on family outings… all very doable, and enjoyable, even.

So we’ll manage. I do find it a bit ironic that Shorty and I have been looking to add another member to our immediate family and suddenly we just did. The person we added is about 18 years older than we expected, lol! Speaking of baby though, and in all seriousness… we had decided (before K moved in, actually) to delay TTC again probably until after the holidays. Sigh. While it makes me sad, it also makes sense… I’m taking my quals this September and pass or no I will then be looking for a job- either as a BS or MS accredited person. If everything goes okay I’d be able to find a job before the holidays, and get settled in, and then we could resume course at the start of a new year. It makes me sad to delay more- if only our May try had worked! – but ce la vie. And I know we’re not the only ones delaying, so at least we’re in good company.

On a side note, the times when we have to make these agonizing decisions about delaying when all we want to do is move forward are the times when I think it’d be easier to be a hetero couple… just leave it up to fate and when it happens, it happens. Le sigh. I know of course, that that statement is entirely unfair to the many many hetero couples who have to really try for kids or who go through infertility… but in the moment, that simple little vision of being able to actually be SURPRISED at being pregnant, rather than disappointed when you aren’t because you know you timed it perfectly, seemed highly ideal.

And PS- here’s a little funny thought for you. I have no idea how we’re going to navigate the whole TTC-and-having-a-grown-up-little-sister in the house thing. Can you imagine her answering the door and seeing “Cryobank” printed on the box??? Might lead to some interesting conversations… LOL!!! Makes me think maybe we should just be open about the whole thing from the very beginning instead of trying to hide it! But then, that openness could also lead to awkward conversations… “Don’t mind us, we just have to go upstairs and take care of this and we’ll be right back!” Ha! This should be interesting- guess we have some time to figure it out though.

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2 responses to “And then there were four.

  1. isa says:

    Congrats on the new addition! It sounds like she could really use the help from you guys right now to get through that last year of high school. Plus maybe this will give you the chance to be empty-nesters and expecting mamas all at once! I’d wait to tell her until you’re ready to start up again, and see how you’re feeling at the time. Good luck getting everyone settled in!

  2. c storm says:

    It is simply impossible to keep secrets from children. not that she’s a child, but same concept. She will know, so you might as well have an open conversation, is my theory…

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