lezbemoms

Raising a Blended Family

Some Random Thoughts…(shorty)

on May 22, 2011

Here recently Amazon has voiced concerns about being the “non-bio mom” and not bonding with Thing 2. That I will have this special bond with Thing 2, because I will be staying home the first 6 weeks with the baby.

This got me thinking last night, and I have come to the conclusion that this will not be an issue and that her  bond with Thing 2 will be just as strong as my bond will be. I believe this for a couple of different reasons.

Those reason being:

1.) I will not have a problem with handing her the baby and stepping out of the picture giving her one on one time with the baby. I’m actually super excited to have the experience of co-parenting a child with someone. I did not have this when Thing One was a baby, I couldn’t take a shower without her other parent banging on the door 5 seconds after I got in, yelling are you done yet! I didn’t have anyone to help me with night feedings, nights of pacing when she didn’t want to sleep, or even just anyone to help with the daily responsibilities of having a baby. Having lived the role of having to do it all myself once already, and quickly realizing I didn’t like it, I’m excited to have a wonderful partner that is going to be as involved with our child as I am.

2.) She will be inducing lactation so that she can also breastfeed our baby. I think this will help tremendously with her bonding with the baby. Not only will it help with some of the stress that I would have as being the childs only source of food, it will also give her the feeling of being really involved, being able to provide nourishment to our child. To be able to soothe and comfort the baby in a way that only breastfeeding can. Also if for some reason Amazon in not able to induce lactation, which I have a feeling that she will be able to, I have no problems with pumping and letting her bottle feed the baby as often as she wants. I’m actually looking forward to not being the only walking bottle/pacifier in the house. 🙂

3.) We have Thing One. We have established parenting roles already. We know what it is like to have a child be part of the equation. So having a baby, while yes is going to change the equation a bit in our family setting as each new child does. It’s not going to be a brand new experience to us to raise a child together.

So I am not worried about Amazon bonding with the baby, but I understand that it is a real concern of hers. So I will listen to her worries and  continue to remind her of these three points plus many others. She is a wonderful loving mother to Thing One and I know she is going to be a wonderful loving mother with a strong bond to Thing Two and any other Things we may have in the future.

Of course for this to even be an issue we need a BFP, we are going to wait another week before we test. I’m going to be okay with this wait, as where my loving non patient Amazon, is probably going to die.

Speaking of Amazon and her impatience, I made the mistake of telling her that when I was pregnant with Thing One I couldn’t stand the smell of peppermint. It would make me nausea, gag, and even vomit. NOT PLEASANT. This was a big problem because I was going through my first trimester over christmas season. Peppermint was EVERYWHERE. So since 1 DPO Amazon has taken to randomly walking up to me and shoving peppermint suckers into my mouth to see if i have the same reactions as I had with Thing One.

Okay so besides this being annoying, there are two things that could happen with this method of testing. One being that I will not have the same issue with peppermint that I had with Thing One, there for shoving peppermint into my mouth is not going to give us any indication if I’m actually preggo or not, so the result is having peppermint suckers which are gross, just randomly shoved into my mouth leaving a bad taste of peppermint afterwards. Two being that I do have the same issue with peppermint. Which could lead me to vomiting on Amazon, which I’m sure she will not be a fan of and I would find really not funny. 😀

Shorty

Advertisements

One response to “Some Random Thoughts…(shorty)

  1. Isa says:

    Have you thought about Amazon taking a maternity leave, too? If she gets FMLA coverage it can be used for a child that isn’t hers biologically, whether she has adopted it or not (the ‘intention’ to parent is what matters). We’re planning to have Lynn take a week when our imaginary baby is born, and then to overlap my mat. leave for the last month before staying home by herself for the last 6 weeks. It’ll be unpaid, but I think it’s going to be worth it both for her to bond with the kiddo and to delay daycare (or nanny-care) for as long as possible.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: