Raising a Blended Family

Learning Experience

on February 18, 2011

So today C was volunteering in our daughter’s kindergarten class when I got an urgent text from her- “Help! The kids are asking me why Thing Two has two mommies! What do I say?”

Initially, I froze. Shit, I thought, what SHOULD she say?  And what will the teacher and the other volunteer parents think of her answer?  In the end though, an answer just sort of popped into my head and I sent it back, hoping it would suffice: “Just tell them families are people who love each other. In some families, like yours maybe, have a mommy and a daddy love each other. Other families, like Thing Two’s, have two mommies who love each other. And that’s okay too.”

So that’s what C told them, and the moment passed- although whether that was because of my/our brilliant answer, or because five year olds have naturally short attention spans, I’m not sure.  Regardless, that was actually my first experience answering a question like that from Thing Two’s peers. Because she is technically my stepdaughter (although we don’t make that distinction and I won’t ever love her any less than a biological child), Thing Two herself has actually asked us That Question before.  “Why do I have two mommies?”  Coming from her, it’s not as hard to answer- she’s just curious.  She knows she has a daddy (she sees him regularly) and she was not born into a gay family like lots of other children, so naturally, she has questions, and we try to answer them the best we can and on her level.  It’s just different, I guess, coming from other children- I don’t know them as well so it’s harder to connect.  But in any case, I think we all learned something today!

Anyways… so we’re going skiing this weekend (even though all our snow melted) in Michigan… It’ll be just the two of us so it should be a nice relaxing mini-vacation.  Actually, I can’t wait- C is picking me up from work (soon) to go and I am bouncing-in-my-desk-chair-excited!  So I hope everyone has a good weekend, enjoy this beautiful warm snap we’re having (unless you’re on the West Coast), and I’ll catch ya on the flip side!



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